Watchmen: Chapter II

I'm not sold. I spent the first review doubting whether an adaptation was even necessary, and I don't think it was. I think the main thing I got from Part II is it's a lesser film than the first. Those pacing issues that plague these DC Universe films that seemed absent from the first? They are back. Big time. And maybe the truth is I gave the first film more credit for that than it deserved. Possibly Dr. Manhattan's monologues there were exactly as slow and monotonous, and I simply hadn't gotten properly sick of them yet. But I have now.

One of the things I liked about the first part is Rorschach is a VERY indefensible character there. The second part is weaker for actually defending him.

The thing that kills me about the master plan from the World's Smartest Man is that it's so fucking stupid, but in a Universe this fucking stupid, only fucking stupid works. Something that dumb should never work. And it does. And that pisses me off.

Dr. Manhattan is probably the most useless superhero in all of fiction. The only notable action he took in both parts is murdering Rorschach at the end here, and despite what the heroes think, and despite the fact that I hate Rorschach, it's the wrong move. So yeah, I'm tired of listening to this naked blue guy's bullshit when the only action of consequence in this war threatening-situation he got off his lazy bare ass to make was a mistake. I'm SO over that asshole.

I found Nite-Owl and Silk Spectre's romance not very interesting (it's the impotence thing that strikes me as unnecessary) but I loved her scene with her mother at the end refusing to blame her for who her father really was. It was a nice scene in a movie devoid of them.

My favorite bit was Ozymandias revealing at the end, "Nope, it's too late already. You'd think I'd tell you everything if there was ANY chance you could stop it?" I dispute this is the World's Smartest Man. But he's smarter than Lex Luthor at any rate.

The animation and pacing are off, but the voicework is pretty damn great. I don't recall stronger voice performances in ANY recent DC Universe films of this era. Still, the movie doesn't feel entirely right.

Alan Moore is right about everything. Including the fact that the comic should have just been left alone. I think the recent TV show had its virtues for being an original story, but it feels like adapting an already perfectly told story is a bad idea. The trailer to this comic-accurate film can honestly say "This is almost EXACTLY like your favorite comic book story of all time! It just happens to be minorly worse in every single respect!" I don't think that makes it a thing worth adapting. I feel the same about Disney live-action remakes, but at least there, I'm not alone in thinking that. I think people ought to demand DC keeps its hands off Watchmen. No more adaptations, sequels, or prequels. I don't think they are adding anything, or improving on the original work in any way. Plus, all it does is piss Alan Moore off, and how many times must that man be proven right before DC stops treating him like utter shit? Alan Moore is pretty much comic bookdom's Cassandra. He speaks nothing but the truth about how shitty things are in the industry, and nobody ever listens to him. People talk shit about the comics industry all the time. But Moore's harsh critiques go beyond terrible work practices, and cast doubt on the very notion of fandom itself. And maybe the guy who created the wrongly-beloved Rorschach to be despised can talk a little bit more accurately over how foolish fandom is towards comics with a credibility few other creators posses.

This should not be happening. 3 stars.