Young Justice: Phantoms

Oh, my God! I loved that. Imperfect, and I do have gripes, but really not enough to really damage my opinion.

My biggest complaint about every Greg Weisman show since Gargoyles is that Weisman is essentially a one-trick pony. Once you've seen The Gathering, Weisman has shown you exactly how the magic trick works. For me? That means it never works again, especially because Weisman never varies the way he performs it. And this season with its expositiony fights and torpid drama is easy for me to bash for that reason.

Until we get to the Zatanna arc. Now? I'm receptive to those magic tricks. They are expected. I may understand the mechanics of them, and how they work, but the magical world and characters makes them fun again. I want to believe in them again, even knowing they're fake. You actually can't out-Puck Puck. But only a magical story and character like Klarion can come close.

I really love and appreciate Savage's narration over the course of the arc. It is a criminally underused form of storytelling to unload that big of an information dump upon the viewer all at once via a Narrator. It should happen more often than it does. And I think Season 4 is a great place for it to happen. I personally already felt the show was stale, but most fans did not. This keeps things fresh, and it's still early enough in the life-span of a series like this (at least if we ignore the first cancelation) for it to feel refreshing in how soon we got to this big-picture stuff. Savage as the father of Atlantis is great. Explaining logically why Atlanteans have the ability to breath underwater is even better.

I like that the Child believes Klarion sucks at his job. Bold opinion: He does, Especially when she puts it like that. There is possibly no bigger fan of Order in the DC Universe than Vandal Savage, so Klarion tying himself to that specific fascist is beyond puzzling and counterproductive to the goal of Chaos. Yeah, as Klarion has noted, he's created a fiasco here and there, but nothing bigger than Savage would ever let him, which is why the Child's calm glee at his failures felt so good. Because as dangerous and evil as she is, she's also right.

I thought the Etrigan rhymes sucked. The wick line told me they were present, but they were TOO clever. They were focused on rhyming complicated words instead of an audible pentameter and pleasing rhythm. There is such a thing as making a rhyme too complex for its own good. Because it no longer actually sounds like a rhyme. The too-clever dialogue was one of Weisman's few already known well-worn tricks that I didn't actually appreciate here.

I also really didn't dig the stuff with either M'Gann or Gar. In fairness to Gar, it's just one emo scene, but I think Weisman and Vietti actually think the M'Gann stuff with her sister is clever. It's not. It's the one intolerable thing in the episode, and the reason something this otherwise dynamite will not actually be receiving a perfect grade. On some level the idea of M'Gann calling her sister on forcing a catharsis, her sister asking if it's working, and then them breaking out in laugher is clever. In practice, on the screen, it's cringe. It's TOO clever, and not remotely believable. If realism in this franchise is the dealbreaker (and it supposedly is), the characters talking like sitcom writers instead of grieving people is an actual fault. So there.

Is Savage Nabu's father or Zatarra's? Either would be interesting, but Zatarra would add a personal stake to Zatanna that I would love to see. I really hope that although he was addressing Nabu about the crisis, he was addressing Zatarra as the son.

Savage relocating all his friends and resources off of Earth says he doesn't take any chances. Although if the Child is as bad as I think she is, nowhere in the galaxy will actually be safe for him. He made a mockery of the Lords of Chaos with that Klarion "alliance". I would be shocked if they were just willing to drop it once Earth was in ruins. As Angelus once said about Buffy treating him like a human being: "That's not the kind of thing you just forgive."

Weisman has license from me to pulls quarters from behind my ear for these four episodes. As of now, I've got the goofy party-magic grin on my face again. Been awhile. Shucks. ****1/2.

I can't believe they killed Teekl. I also can't believe I'm upset about it. Probably because Klarion was.

Starro, huh? These flashbacks get interestinger and interestinger.

The trials were something I didn't respond to. It was good to get clarification over why Mary rejected the Shazam power, but I found a lot of the religious stuff in this episode pandering. I think it's done to give the show a bit of moral credibility, but I truthfully am not the sort of person who likes to be preached at, no matter the religion.

That tag on the bus was wild. I wonder what's going on.

I think Beast Boy has evolved into my absolute least favorite character on the show. He sucks on every level, and even sucked before Superboy died. What cheeses me off is that we are spending so much time watching him do nothing but piss and moan. Weisman believes this idea is far more interesting than I do.

This was the weakest episode in the Zatanna arc so far, but all things considered, I still liked most of it. ***.

It was all right.

For the record, I do not for one second believe Weisman planned the stuff with the Klarion bus ahead of time for seasons on end. But the truth is it doesn't matter if he planned it or not. It fitting in seamlessly is great either way. And if he did plan it, I'd think less of him. It takes far more skill to come up with something like that on the fly and make it fit in hindsight than to have always planned it. I am more impressed with creators who can make their works better and better as they go along, instead of creators who have everything already set. It's also somewhat wonderful what a writer can come up with if it's not fully planned.

The Klarion bus was pretty funny for sure.

So it looks like Zatanna's arc is going to last more than four episodes. I'm down for that.

Zatarra's life story was the least interesting set of flashbacks in this multiparter.

I continue to care about Gar's story not a jot. You want to convince me Weisman is a storytelling genius, you can't do it while Beast Boy moping is basically this year's connected plot thread to everything else. Sorry. Don't buy it because of that alone.

Decent. ***1/2.

I had mixed feelings about that. But I probably liked more than I didn't.

I am a little concerned that this is Zatanna's arc and this was literally the first part of it where she was the most important character. And I don't like the reason she was. The idea that she was taking on apprentices to use them to free her father is pretty disgusting, and unforgivable as far as the behavior of a supposed hero goes.

I'm also not digging Mary's arc either.

And per usual Beast Boy remains the worst part of the season. Every Beast Boy scene this season essentially involves him treating people who care about him like crap. Why are we spending so much time with this loser? I don't care about him. And it angers me every time he treats decent people like nothing. There is no good pay-off possible to having to sit through this. Can Beast Boy be redeemed? It's fiction so I'm sure the writers will try. Do I care to see it? Not even remotely. That's the most ill-advised thing about this. They are asking me to emotionally invest in a character getting better that I despise. That's narrative malpractice.

Superboy being a ghost is a disappointment but on-brand for Weisman. He doesn't like to buy back deaths. My problem is that like Kid Flash's death, Conner's was especially pointless, so that specific high-minded ideal is actually counterproductive. Give me a good, epic, earned death, I'll be less pissed Conner's a ghost. I'm annoyed instead.

Let's talk about things I liked.

The confusing tag with Black Canary having therapy with Zatarra was a clever way to give a ten years later update on the Bus Folk.

I liked the idea that it was Savage's alliance with Darkseid that got the Order and Chaos Lords clucking to begin with. Savage has a pretty smooth silver tongue because he was able to explain his rationale pretty well. Because to me, the entire alliance always seemed stupid.

It's part five where Child became genuinely scary.

Klarion with the hole in his torso and the new kitten Teekl inside it was both funny and warped at the same time. I don't thank the recent seasons' TV-14 rating for much. That was putting it to fine use for once.

I suppose it was good. But I'm having a hard time liking and sympathizing with what Zatanna did. And I outright hate Gar. ***1/2.

You are not going to believe this! I didn't like it! Shocker, right?

As the episode was going on and I disliked more and more, I told myself I would need to make sure to compliment the episode's strengths, otherwise people will simply think I'm a crank, or a gadfly, or worse, a troll, about this show. I want to be fair.

The problem is I could find nothing to compliment. Bummer.

To be fair, I think perhaps my complaints, are surface complaints, and no big deal taken singly. But if there are multiple things that make me unhappy and nothing I liked, how else am I supposed to review the episode? I want to be fair, but the episode gave me no ins to do so.

I'll go over my three major complaints, which would probably be minor complaints if either only one them existed, or even if the episode had other selling points.

1. Right off the bat, I found Nightwing recounting Aqualad's career to him annoying. Super annoying. And a bit infuriating. And I can't stress that enough. Because every complaint I have about this series is responded to with "Weisman chose to do it that way because it's realistic". But Weisman never has the characters SPEAK like real people. And I don't know why I'm supposed to take the "reality" of downer endings and emo characters as long as one character is reciting something to another character they both already know, for the benefit of an audience that they have no way of knowing exists. And what bothers me most is this exact thing is endemic on the show, and everybody just treats it as the price of doing business. It's not. It's especially wrong in a show that brushes off all my narrative complaints with "But.. but... REALISTIC!" There is no realism in how the characters speak or react to each other. And as long as that's true (and it is) the entire defense of "It's realistic!" isn't a defense. It's an excuse. And an untrue one at that.

2. Personally, I don't believe in child actors. I believe Hollywood is a terrible place for children, and if I were in charge of it I wouldn't permit anyone under the age of 18 to work on a movie or TV show (just be grateful that I'm not actually the one in charge). That is how strongly I feel about how toxic that atmosphere is for kids. I believe child acting is a form of child abuse. So I literally have no objections to children in animation being voiced by adult women (as Weisman does here). But do the voices ALWAYS have to be either Tara Strong or Kath Soucie? Isn't that freaking lazy to only have two different voices for kids? It hits the ear absolutely wrong.

Do know know what's weird? I do not suspect voicing a child is actually all that hard for many young-sounding actresses. Aaron McGruder needed a black actress to voice the kids on The Boondocks, hired live-action star Regina Hall, and she nailed Huey and Riley like it was nothing. I understand baby noises are hard for few actresses but Strong to make. But I'm thinking perhaps kid voices could be more varied that a lot of current animation thinks they could be. There are plenty of other adult women voicing kids already. Weisman is simply too cheap to put up the money to hire them.

3 My final complaint might annoy you. Because I reviewed the film "Clerks" this week, and gave it a rave solely for the reason that the entire movie is essentially great conversations. So you'll be annoyed I thought the ambassador scenes were utter crap as long as I'm talking that film up. But see, the conversations in Clerks were actually interesting. The politics of these meetings were tedious. Did anybody like ANY of the Senate stuff from the Star Wars prequels? Why does Weisman spend so much of the show's actual runtime channeling that exact annoying crap?

So, yeah, I'm a crank. I'm no fun. I'm peeing in your Wheaties, and I'm a turd in the punchbowl. All of that is possible. But what seems more likely to me is that the show is struggling this season, and I appear to be one of the few people willing to admit it. I think the second thing is probably right. 1 star.

That ending is scrambling to make me remember exactly what Vandal Savage's history in Atlantis was. It will come to me and probably be made clearer in the next episode.

I loved the teaser of Clark being ambushed in the diner by the Legion who already knew he was Superman. His fake performance later of "My friend Clark sent me" was beyond painful. I'm trying to think of a cornier Superman moment outside of any Superfriends or totally kiddified project and I'm coming up blank. It was funny for that reason.

Listen to Fone Bone, kids. I vehemently objected to the characters grieving Superboy's death a few episodes back. If he's dead, it was the wrong place to kill him off. If he's not, it's unfair to put both the characters and the audience through the emotional wringer over a cheap fake-out. I knew I was right. And I predicted it was going to be in the second (and measurably worse) way. The show never fails to fall beneath my absolute lowest standards.

Eh, whatever. The episode wasn't bad so I should quitcher witchin'. 3 1/2.

That was awful.

In fairness, I actually liked the stuff in Atlantis. Since it's actually Aqualad's arc, that should be enough, right? Except it got short-shrift in this episode, and was unresolved by the end.

I am utterly amazed at what Brandon Vietti believes is passable dialogue. You could claim to me a better actor than Greg Cipes could sell "Next!" but there is no way in hell I'd believe you. This is the supposedly image-obsessed Beast Boy? He isn't just the lamest emo person ever. He's practically a parody of that person. It is legit badly written.

That goes for Superboy's various hallucinations, particularly those of Megan. As the cheerleader. Ugh.

They seem to be heavily cribbing Cliff's personality from the Robotman on Doom Patrol, but in fairness to this show and this episode, he's not actually loathsome here. I kind of dug him. What made Beast Boy's "Next!" make me hate that character even more than I already did.

Pray-tell what exactly is the endgame for Gar's arc? Is he gonna snap out of it if and when he learns Conner is alive? If so, is that any sort of real character growth? Should the other characters simply forgive him if Conner is okay? This crap is the precise reason I believe they NEVER should have shown the characters grieving Superboy. And they are still doing it which is pissing me off even more. What actually is the plan for Gar? It makes no sense from a narrative standpoint.

"Oh, it's realistic that a kid in his position would process grief poorly." But this show isn't real! It's fiction! And standards for fiction actually freaking exist! I'm tired of people tolerating this show being so crappy is just ducky under the guise of "realism". And realistically, every single person in that room would be beating the crap out of Gar for what he's been saying. So don't talk to me about realism. All of his teeth are still miraculously in his mouth? Totally fake. Don't kid yourselves there.

Also Superboy is still out there! You want to talk realism? The actual damn GRIEF isn't real! For eff's sake.

That was a bad one. 1 star.

Oh, man. That was SO good. Khary Payton wrote this? More from that dude, please.

Outside of the lame and torpid end credits sequence, everything else was great. I like Orm being allowed to be free, Dr. Fate confronting Vandal Savage, Mera being made King, and Lex Luthor's surprise appearance while cryptically saying "Red Son". It was all great stuff.

Put this guy on staff, Weisman and Vietti. Hell, make him showrunner. That was great. ****1/2.

Now the subtitle of the season makes sense.

I'm gonna take a wait and see approach on the Zod and the Darkseid stuff. What I can say is Rocket's arc is crap.

I can totally picture Greg Weisman proudly touting via Twitter the child psychologist he must have consulted about Rocket's kid having autism. "There's nothing more real than that!" I don't think he deserves the slightest bit of credit for that portrayal. Weisman didn't decide to explore the problems autistic kids suffer. He's exploring the problems PARENTS of autistic kids suffer. Again, I didn't give him a LICK of credit for consulting psychologists about people going through depression instead of actual depressed people either. The reason the portrayal of the kid deserve zero kudos is because the kid is a total zero. It's mentioned he's intelligent, but that fact isn't shown once, and every single one of his behaviors is negative. His entire reason for being is to make the viewer feel sympathetic for what his poor mother has to put up with. I don't see any accolades forthcoming from any autism foundation. Again, Weisman apparently consulted the wrong experts. Even Julia from Sesame Street is less problematic than this kid.

And here is why I think Rocket sucks, and why I think Weisman sucks. After the traumatic incident and loss of control Orion goes through, she says he's a monster. How would she feel if someone said that about her kid who walks up to strangers and tells them they smell bad? And yes, I'm aware of how drama works. That's going to be the entire point, and Rocket is going to grow and learn to see Orion through the lens of her son's struggles. But a person like Raquel raising an autistic kid should already KNOW this specific lesson. Again, there is a difference between realistic and badly written. The former doesn't actually exist on this show, while the latter is overflowing from it.

It's the small things that can ruin otherwise competently made episodes. It's why overrated producers like Weisman need to be careful to portray those small things correctly. **1/2.

I definitely liked some of it. I liked that Razer's stuff was a spiritual and speculative sequel to Green Lantern: The Animated Series, although I cannot for the life of me figure out why the New Gods actually keep Metron around. He's nothing but a nuisance.

The exposition with both the Legion and Zod was ultimately a bit confusing. This show is too complicated for its own good. It's hurting the narrative at this point.

Rocket had nothing interesting to do in the episode, which made me unhappy.

The stuff with the Foragers was both obnoxious, and the implications were actually quite gross.

The end of Kid Flash setting up a Cosmic Treadmill in the Legion ship was great. Can't wait to see how that plays out.

I liked some of it, I disliked some of it. ***.

That was legitimately bad written. I was very disappointed to see Weisman's name on the script. I can't lie and say I was surprised. But I felt very sad seeing that because I always believed that Weisman was a GOOD writer and every script he's turning out for this show is awful. I don't understand what's going on.

Beast Boy's therapy session is simply intolerable. They couldn't make fun of this on Mystery Science Theater 3000 because it's too cringe and overwrought for the Satellite Of Love. Did I really at some point believe Wesiman was a decent writer? What made me think that?

The Zod chant and Forager poem was essentially me putting my hands over my eyes and begging this show to quit while it was behind.

I confess I found the stuff with Kid Zod and Metron relatively interesting. And is it fair for me to malign the entire episode for the therapy session when that's not even the main part?

I would love to say and believe differently, but I truly think Weisman (Unweisley) believes that is the episode's dramatic centerpiece. And if he thinks that, his last name is wrong. I cannot overstate how bad that was.

I will give Weisman a LOT of credit for something about the therapy stuff: Him doing it in this specific show and genre is SUCH a huge freaking risk, and if it had paid off, I'd be singing his praises to the Heavens. I acknowledge that Weisman took a bit of a fearless chance when writing this plotline. But this isn't the first similar therapy scene he's botched. I would appreciate him putting his rep on the line over this more if he had EVER delivered a good scene in a therapy session with Black Canary before this. Those have always been the worst part of the show, so when he takes the risk to emotionally go for broke using it, when the scene fails, the show seems worse than it ever has been. The thing about daring risks is that when they don't pay-off, the lumps due the writers and producers are much harsher than they would be had they simply bored me with a safer manner of storytelling. That's the problem with going for broke. You might actually break things if it goes wrong.

Could they maybe bring Razer back next week? This is nothing I want to deal with. What is happening here? Forget Beast Boy. I'm thinking it's Weisman who needs the intervention at this point. Holy smokes. *.

Tomar Re doesn't survive many continuities, does he? Better death here than he got in Justice League at any rate.

So I liked the episode. And I feel like since I tend to go into detail about episodes I dislike (and there are a lot of them) that it seems unfair for me to simply say I liked it and leave it at that. The problem with doing a deconstruction of an episode I liked (but didn't love) is all I can essentially say is "The Zod stuff was cool. The Crisis cover tribute was cool. Metron was cool. The Promethean was cool. The Dr. Fate and the cliffhanger stuff was cool." Do you see my problem and why it's easier to talk about things I either have problems with or love? My shortest and least memorable reviews tend to be for things I judge "good". And I feel like after all the shots I've taken at the show, that me not saying anything but "Right on," isn't actually good enough.

Do you know why I am sure this is true? Because I spent just a measly sentence describing all the things I liked. And I'm gonna take a paragraph talking about the thing I hate. The Foragers. I don't just find their romance physically repulsive (although the clicking noises they make as they coo at each other are pretty gross) but the way they speak to each other makes me cringe. Starfire always puts the word "The" in front of everything. That's increasingly been part of the joke and obnoxious on purpose. Those two characters referring to themselves and each other in the third person (and by the same damn name) is so freaking earnest instead that I scowl. And how big of a jerk am I that this small insignificant part of the episode is the one thing I felt like going into detail about? Anyone who believes my reviews of Young Justice are unfair, on some level you are right. It's the fact that I don't spend a lot of time marveling over and dissecting "good enough" which is why anyone who thinks I don't cut the show enough slack has my number. What can say? There is very little for me to talk about when the show is solid. ****.

I expressed great frustration last week over how unfair I am to the show. And my biggest weakness is finding a bunch of nice things to say during "good" episodes. It's easier to point out a failing instead of saying "I liked that," about most everything.

This episode is a bit of a gift in that I WILL be able to do a point by point dissection of things I liked. Why? Because it was actually an outstanding episode! I very much owe it to the fans of this show to talk about everything that worked like gangbusters and landed beautifully. If only because I don't tend to love very many episodes of the show. While I love this one, I'm going to honor it as best I can, and point out as much awesomeness as possible. It's the least I can do.

I like that this show's version of Klarion is the very first time I've seen of that character that is an actual threat, both physical, and even mental. And I love that about this version of the character. My only suggestion to Weisman about him is to perhaps let the Lord of Chaos' arc be less planned out ahead of time going forward.

I thought Dick's detective work was outstanding. Rocket and Zatanna expressed disbelief over Dick getting from nowhere to almost the entire thing, but isn't that exactly how Sherlock Holmes works? If Dick really IS The World's Greatest Detective's greatest apprentice, Sherlock Holmes-style astounding leaps are to be expected.

Superboy is not doing so well in the Phantom Zone. I love Phantom Girl waking up to essentially tell him, "Dude, shut up. You aren't helping."

Zatanna wishing the Monarchs lose was great because it's very clear that's the only thing in their frustrating conversation Clark cared about.

It is a VERY Weisman storytelling technique to have a villain suggest a hero cooperate because who knows? Maybe they can gain the upper hand later. I tend to call b.s. on most Weisman storytelling techniques of this nature. This specific idea is sound however, and I like it because Zod is treating everybody like a grown-up. I think a lot of Weisman's villains are too meta and self-aware to be believable. I liked Zod's argument because not only was it true, but it was the correct way to get Bart to do what he wanted. I liked that.

I've been hating almost all the tags this year, but that one was super interesting.

If I hated the episode, I probably would have done a longer review. But I think this review got to the bullet points of why this episode was great, and why I suspect both this arc, and maybe even the end of the season have the potential to end strongly. We'll see. All I know is I unreservedly loved this week. *****.

It was all right. The therapy sessions and stuff with Halo and Brion was a little torpid, but everything else was okay. I like Fury especially.

That being said, it feels a little late in the game for a Brion update, no? His downward spiral was the climax of Season 3, and we're JUST getting an update NOW? This feels like business that should have been addressed sooner than this.

I still like that this show's version of Terra is good.

The Ambassador has a very similar design to Owen from Gargoyles. I'm wondering if that's deliberate.

The Gremlins were most excellent. Nightwing's chagrin is my delight.

Superboy diggin' and diggin' in deeper. Fool's not making this easy for Team "Not a bunch of fascist poo-burglars". Poor Phantom Girl. She's a weirdly more compelling character in the few scenes we see her here than she was in her entire run on the old Legion Of Super Heroes cartoon from the mid-aughts.

Okay, but after last week being excellent I'm disappointed this wasn't. ***1/2.

Oh, that was a VERY good episode.

Orion's plan to open the boom tube on a world with a red sun was damn smart. Too bad Phantom Girl was so easy to fool.

I love Superman playing things so close to the vest.

On one of the sites I frequented somebody noted that Miss Martian not being in on the initial rescue mission for Conner in the Phantom Zone was dumb because of her personal connection to him. I agree after seeing this. She should have been kept in the loop.

Young Zod's "compliment" to Tomar Re's son means he's a total bastard. He can't win after that. He just can't.

I loved this week. ****1/2.

I'm struggling with this review. As such it's going to have to be short. But I can't really put my finger on why the episode made me feel the way I do, so it's pointless to dwell on it.

I didn't like that. I liked it less and less as it was going. I hit the credits and of course Weisman wrote it. The worst episodes this year were written by him and all the great ones weren't. This wasn't as bad as some of them. But it hit me wrong in everything it did, and I can't quite explain where my anger and displeasure comes from. I can't do a point by point deconstruction for why that sucked. Not this week. I just know that it did. So frankly, we're just gonna have to leave things there.. *.