Thor: Love and Thunder

Here's what happened. After the increasing diminishing returns from Eternals, Doctor Strange In The Multiverse Of Madness, and the ALWAYS infuriatingly mediocre Disney+ series, I told myself to lower my expectations. Expect nothing, and you won't be disappointed. Best case scenario, you might even be pleasantly surprised. I can safely say I wasn't disappointed. But just because I was able to psyche myself into the proper headspace to just roll with things, that doesn't make this a remotely good movie. Sure. I wasn't mad by the time things ended. But just because I expected the movie to suck, doesn't mean it's okay that it does.

My concern is the tone. And I LOVED Thor Ragnorok. That got a LOT of crap from fans, but as humorous as things were, there was an internal consistency to the logic of the funny things Grandmaster said and did. MCU fans could scowl, but I could rationalize the silly dumb things happening, (to myself at least).

Bao the God of Dumplings? Korg's God sitting on a throne of scissors? Man, this is The Marvel Cinematic Universe, not the freaking Naked Gun. There have to be storytelling rules this specific story follows. I would have even tolerated the screaming goats (that is if they hadn't run them into the comedy ground) but there is a difference between humorously silly, and ridiculously unbelievable. And let me tell you something. Notice I didn't say "There's a fine line" there. Because the line is pretty damn clear-cut in my mind. Yeah, degree is a matter of personal preference. But when it comes to harmless nonsense turning harmfully stupid and destroying credibility, like porn, I know it when I see it.

The scene of the play with Matt Damon and Melissa McCarthy on New Asgard was legitimately badly written. Not only is it so awful it's embarrassing, but it lasts for awhile, which probably makes it seem even worse than it actually is. It's similar to "Rogers: The Musical" from Hawkeye in being pretty much indefensible.

I thought Christian Bale did a FABULOUS job in the role of Gorr. I didn't even recognize him until the end credits. He was super scary and creepy. He deserved to be in a better movie.

Let's talk about things I like before I give my harshest scorn about the movie. And that scorn is serious, so I'll save it for last.

I like how good Thor is with the kids. It makes his fatherhood with the kid known as Love at the end seem utterly credible. I also found his scene where Jane revealed her cancer to be a very good moment for the both of them. Thor telling Sif sadly she needed to stay alive because she won't be headed to Valhalla because she didn't actually die during the battle was great. And Heimdehl welcoming Jane into Valhalla itself in the last tag was beyond rewarding. And finally, the stuff with the Guardians may have been dumb, but it's totally on-brand for Thor to gift Peter Quill his own damn ship as if he's doing the guy a huge favor. There is a reason Thor is the most annoying Marvel Cinematic Hero, and stuff like that is the reason why.

Finally, I don't want to go here. But I must. Cancer sucks. For real. Why is it when Jane is dying Natalie Portman STILL looks about as radiant and lovely as an Elf from The Lord Of The Rings? The chemotherapy SHOULD be making her lose all of her gorgeous hair and she should be emaciated, with dark bags under her eyes. I think what happened was Taika Waititi decided that dealing with the ugly reality of cancer would work against the slapstick comedy of the film. So, maybe, Taika, choose a different subject matter for a slapstick comedy, instead of insensitively cleaning up the harsh reality of that horrible disease for general audiences. Really, the MCU IS running out of gas a bit. But I can't think of very many things in the recent shady projects that outright disgust me. That definitely does.

So, no I wasn't disappointed. I expected a mediocre failure, and Waititi lived up to my expectations perfectly. **1/2.