I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy

I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy

I don't know what I expected, but it wasn't THAT.

I'm heard people described this memoir as "humorous" and mentioned that McCurdy has a very wry sense of gallows humor. There is nothing funny to me about this. And I also don't really see any places McCurdy is joking either.

I have opined here and elsewhere that the profession of child acting should be made illegal. At least until the industry decides to police itself better. This book makes me think I was right.

The most attention the book is getting is for Jennette's harrowing stories of how creepy and controlling The Creator (a.k.a. Dan Schneider) was on the set of iCarly and Sam and Cat. I think the stories about him trouble me so much because they seem to be the least of Jennette's problems. Jennette has his number about what a manipulative grooming scumbag he is. But she thinks so little of him she refuses to call him by his name. Not out of a sense of propriety. But because he doesn't deserve the fame or notoriety for it. All of the horrible things Schneider has done feel inconsequential to the constant abuse Jeannette suffered under her mother. Her description of his creepy massage borders on clinical for that reason, which is probably the most horrifying thing about it.

The last (too brief) chapter of Jeanette deciding at her mother's grave that she was a narcissist who abused her and destroyed the early part of her life, along with the decision to never visit it again is so short and the one part of the book I wish lasted forever.

I think the thing that effected me most is hearing her talk about the standard practices of child auditions. And every single casting director sounds like a pure child-abusing monster. And she's had bit roles on shows I enjoyed like The X-Files. If Jeanette's experience in that industry is common, the entire profession needs to be abolished. This is not okay.

I like the fact that Jeannette dislikes Arianna Grande, because I believe she dislikes her for the right reasons. She acknowledges a large part of it is jealousy. But it's not just the bigger career. It's the fact that she came from a well-off family and could basically ghost the cast of Sam And Cat when she decided there was something else she'd rather do. And Jeanette had to act opposite an empty box because of it. How humiliating. Dave Barry is not making this up.

When Jeanette is describing some of the plots of the Nickelodeon kidcoms, my first response is to believe they are utter pieces of trash without any bit of artistic merit. That's my go-to response. But... But... the nagging voice of reality inside my head (Jeanette calls it her Mormon Holy Ghost) tells me that the plots she describes from the adult shows she auditioned for, (including shows I enjoyed at the time) are every bit as shallow and stupid. There does not seem to me to be a dime's worth of difference in the ultimate vapidity and worthlessness of iCarly and The X-Files. They are equally trash. The difference is The X-Files fools you into believing it isn't. And that's probably true for almost every single damn TV show and movie. And I think if people believe my harsh reviews of certain well-loved franchises are TOO harsh and cynical, I hate to tell you, if anything, this book made me even angrier. I will probably be even MORE critical and judgmental of terrible television going forward. At least The X-Files fools you into believing it's not trash while you are watching it. If any show can't even give me THAT much, I'm unloading into it with both barrels from now on. It's not too much to ask.

Jeannette had an interesting notion about relaunches. For unsuccessful actors who couldn't get work between the original series and the revival, the revival just entrenches that idea and makes them ten times more typecast than they already were. That was an eye-opening statement to me and I will be watching the career of Star Trek actors who guest starred on Star Trek: Picard very closely after this. Jeanette believes revivals cement the dead end of the careers of the actors who participate in them. Do I actually think Michael Fishman and Lecy Goranson will have ANY sort of second career after The Conners is over? Of course they won't. The notion is ridiculous. Revivals are nice for audiences, but for the original actors, I suspect Jeanette is onto something they unless the actor is a big name, they are career ending.

Jeanette's perspective that Nickelodeon trying to pay her hush money is the most despicable thing ever for a network designed for kids is right, and another reason why child acting should be illegal.

Those ugly texts from her mother Jeanette recounts upon discovering her first boyfriend make me very glad her mom died too. Nobody should ever have to go through that. Jeanette calling out the manipulative abuse from her grandmother is pretty great too.

Child acting is horrific profession filled with nothing but serial-abusers and groomers. And Jeanette's book is so harrowing because she calls out ALL of us who enjoy TV and shut off our brains to ignore this one "small insignificant" ugly aspect to it. We shouldn't be doing that. And I won't anymore. I could never have had the courage Jeanette does to survive the things she did, much less talk about it so openly and frankly. And here's another thing that I noticed: She's actually a great writer. I think there was one aspect of her turning down the iCarly revival that was wrong: It being the death-knell for her acting career wouldn't actually matter. She wasn't meant to act. She was meant to write. She was meant to create. I believe if she had done the revival nothing about her future career would change. She is going to be an amazing writer. This is a phenomenal debut, and I am anxious to see more from her, even dare I say it, FICTION. Even if it has the exact same plot as The Parent Trap, I bet Jeanette will make it riveting. *****.