Aladdin (2019)

I was curious about this. In a way I'm not for any of the other Disney live-action remakes. Why? Because I think the 1992 Aladdin is an outright sucky movie. I've always had issues with it, but I tolerated it for awhile. But every time I see it I like it less and less. And ultimately, I think it's a dud. So my curiosity involved me wondering if the movie in 2023 would fix that 1992's movie glaring faults.

Yes and no. There are definitely some changes for the better. But some aspects of the film are weakened by being in live-action.

Let's talk about the improvements. It's not just that Aladdin was voice by a squeaky voiced white guy that bugged the crap out of me for decades. It's the fact that he and the white woman who played Jasmine didn't even sing their own damn songs! Did I mention they were cast for a flipping musical? What. The. HELL? The cast is the proper ethnicity here, and can sing too, which is just swell. And literally the least the movie could do.

I also dug the fact that the movie made Genie human at the end. The fact that the cartoon didn't feels like an oversight after seeing it here. Basically in the cartoon Aladdin robs him of his reason for being, and he skedaddles off until Disney greenlights a trashy cheap TV show. Here, Genie is allowed to start a family with the woman he likes and travel the world, and get his own happy ending, independent of Aladdin. Which is good.

I also appreciated that they took out the "slaves" line from Prince Ali. I loved Howard Ashman. But that lyric always struck me as deliberately insensitive. Even in the early 90's, Ashman knew it was so and was being edgy. And that always bugged the crap out of me. I get that he died, so they were loathe to mess with the lyrics, but damn. It always made me cringe.

New verses for Arabian Nights, including a brand new bridge! Awesome!

Speaking as someone who DOESN'T like Robin Williams' Genie, I liked Will Smith's version. And not because he was funnier or anything. I just more believed he and Aladdin were friends. Robin Williams Genie is so insane and out there, that as fond as he and Aladdin are for each other, there will never be a real understanding between them or an equal friendship. Cartoon Genie exists out of time and makes pop culture reference from the early 90's Aladdin has NO context for. Smith's Genie is not just less crazy. But the fact that he's grounded and he talks to Aladdin like a real person, instead of as a comedy prop, is why I like him better.

I don't like the Sultan in the movie, but the truth is the fact that I don't hate him is a win. Whatever creepy incestuous daddy issues existed in the cartoon (and they were numerous, blatant, disgusting, and made me shudder in revulsion) are not present here. Also take note, Live-Action Jasmine's goal is to become Sultan herself. Cartoon Jasmine wants to (groan!) "marry for love" (barf). Like-Action Jasmine has it all over cartoon Jasmine and not just because she can actually sing. And no, I'm never letting that go. But really, the 1992 film is flawed in nearly every way.

The Bollywood ending was cute.

Let's talk about things for the worse.

The worst thing to me about the 1992 Aladdin film is the script is outright shoddy. In between amazing song lyrics, the spoken dialogue is unbearably crappy. It fed into every hoary Disney cliche you could possibly imagine to the point where I felt cynical about how calculated and manipulative it was. And while I think in a lot of ways this movie fell OUT of some of those bad tropes, they still did the "trapped" scene. But in 1992, as far as fandom disgust went, "Trapped" was the exact same level for me as Wesley Crusher. I'm not joking. Most people don't see it that way because it's a G-rated cartoon, and clever dialogue is not something most people demand from those projects. But I don't care if it's meant for families, if it's cliched and badly written, no amount of merchandising product placement or Robin Williams mugging will get me to ignore that.

Everybody was like "Why the hell didn't they just get Gilbert Gottfried for Iago?" No offense to Alan Tudyk, who is a fine and funny and versatile voice actor, but what the hell? It's a fair question. But it's far worse of a situation than I feared. Tudyk was hired because for some stupid reason the producers believed live-action Iago should talk like an actual parrot. Cartoon's Iago's entire shtick is he's a rage filled middle-aged dude trapped in the body of a parrot daring the Sultan to offer him another cracker and say "what" again. Iago's frustrations and rants are funny and relatable for that reason. The TV show was able to shift Iago's allegiances to the good guys with no problems simply BECAUSE that shtick of Gottfried's was so relatable. Man, this ain't cutting it.

And while we are discussing live-action failings, I'm sorry, I'll talk smack about the cartoon all day long. But there is no denying the musical numbers were top-notch, and the one great thing about that movie. Yeah Aladdin and Jasmine's singing voices sucked. But you simply can't do the amount of personality and razzle dazzle in live-action CGI as you can in 2-D animation. Literally every musical number looks worse in comparison.

Jafar doesn't work in live action. Without that expressive animated facial design, the character has lost his entire selling point. Live-Action Jafar is the guy I can actually picture answering the census on Family Guy. He's super boring. "You can just put down 'not sure'."

I wish they could have taken out the "street rat" stuff. It's dehumanizing language used against a person of color. And it's not okay. I wish it hadn't been SUCH a huge part of the One Step Ahead song back in 1992.

In my archived review of the cartoon on my Dreamwidth Journal from years back I gave the 1992 film a very generous and undeserved 3 1/2 stars, which I would NOT give it today (2 1/2 stars would be me being generous in 2023). So it says I actually like this better than the cartoon if that's where I actually landed here. And it is. 3 1/2 stars.