Clerks II

I think that was mostly disgusting.

I loved the first Clerks because it was a movie about conversations. When the climax here however turns into what is dubiously known as a "donkey show", I'm like "Kevin Smith forgot why the first movie was good to begin with." It was gross and appalling (and disturbing as well). What that scene told me is that there was a very good reason Jennifer Garner hated Kevin Smith, and wanted him to stay the hell away from her husband. That entire premise (especially becoming the centerpiece of the climax) says both that Smith is messed up in the head, and that he's not as good at comedy as his fans claim he is.

And really the stuff with the racial slurs was already unacceptable in 2006. In 2022 it's outright unforgivable. How dare Kevin Smith believe he has the license to do those kinds of jokes? I would argue it was in terrible taste even before Black Lives Matter.

What kills me is the heart to heart in the jail-cell at the end with Dante and Randall was actually great, and that sort of thing was the reason I loved the first film. But we shouldn't have had to wait until the last 20 minutes for an interesting conversation. Comparing franchise quality between The Lord Of The Rings, Star Wars, and Transformers is stupid. NOTHING Randall was arguing about was a tenth of as interesting as the debate of the morality of Death Star construction workers was in the first film. By God there was a nerdy dialogue to wrap your head around. This is just childish smack-talk.

For some strange reason I laughed at the mouth / ----- troll thing. It's not precisely funny. But I was amused by Randall's reaction. Part of him was outright alarmed that a human being was stupid enough to believe something like this. And the other half couldn't wait to tell everybody so they could make fun of Elias together. The prison argument is sort of Randall's inner natures explicitly warring between the decent and sadistic factions. This was getting that idea out there without even saying a word.

Having Becky visit the outside of a woman's health clinic was not helpful. Because we don't know if she went in. If she DID have an abortion it would seem like a pretty big oversight for the movie to brush by, but if she didn't I think the movie was obligated to have her confirmed the bun was still in the oven, in the kind of famously clunky dialogue I always hate. But for this specific scenario, clarity there was called for.

The First Clerks also dealt with a cast of mostly despicable characters. But I felt like the things they were saying were interesting enough that that didn't matter. On some level, them all sucking made their conversations interesting. But when this kind of movie decides to do a musical Jackson 5 dance number to illustrate the love story between Dante and the girl he cheated on his fiance with, it actually matters. As long as the characters are doing more than talking, their sucky actions have weight. And that's especially true here. I didn't like Dante or Randall much in the first movie. But they were young, and their farting around made sense. It's much more unpleasant seeing guys in their 30's act like this. It's pathetic in fact, and it makes me think Kevin Smith is pathetic as well.

I'm glad Jason Mewes got clean, but I don't think the character himself needed to. Jay And Silent Bob Reboot wisely reverted him and Silent Bob to stoners, but I'm guessing Smith was just being respectful here about that. It wasn't actually necessary.

I was very skeeved out by most of that. I shouldn't have to sit through 70 minutes of a movie leading to a donkey show just to hear that great discussion in the prison the next day. I know there is such a thing as the audience having to pay some dues when sitting through some shady stuff to get to some greatness, but that great conversation was nowhere NEAR great enough to justify a donkey show. Frankly, I don't think ANY conversation could ever potentially be great enough for that. **.