Dr. Seuss' Horton Hears A Who!

I made a mistake. That was in my watchlist for a couple of weeks, and I should have watched it last week. I almost certainly still wouldn't have liked it, but I doubt I would feel this level of rage towards it I do on the day I learned about the fact that Blue Sky ripped off and stole the character of Scrat from Ice Age. That story angered me so much, especially because I hadn't heard it until the very day Disney lost their court battles and their rights, and I'm just not willing to give Blue Sky ANY benefit of the doubt anymore. I am pissed off beyond belief.

But it's not like the movie isn't actually totally crappy and a good excuse for me to complain anyways. It totally sucks. I'm just saying if I had saw this last week my critiques might have been more measured. But screw Blue Sky. It is everything wrong with animation. People were super upset Disney closed the studio. After learning the truth about Scrat I truly believe animation is better off. And if movies like this are any indication, popular culture is better off with it gone too.

When did the movie lose me for good? The opening credits. Jim Carrey is Horton? I cannot possibly think of a stupider miscast. Forget the fact that Horton is supposed to be stoic, faithful and noble, and all Carrey plays are buttholes and goofballs. His comedy style is physical. His voice is not distinct or any good for animation. That goes for Steve Carell too. This movie is filled by actors who have no business being anywhere near a cartoon. I would argue the only true "cartoon-worthy" voices in the movie are Will Arnett and Niecy Nash. I don't give two craps about Seth Rogen, and Carol Burnett is utterly wasted too.

The fact that the producers were more interested in getting marquee box office names to lure parents to the theaters, instead of hiring good actors right for the roles says that Blue Sky is a terrible studio, and animation in Hollywood has become terrible in general. It is the worst current practice of animated films and it's become endemic. Animated movies are far worse for it. This is all Shrek and Dreamworks' fault. And now all animation film voicework sucks ass. It pisses me off.

I'm busy dumping on Blue Sky right now (and I might do an essay elsewhere about the Scrat fiasco) but the truth is the main three characters of Ice Age had good voices. John Leguizamo is a good cartoon voice, and the fact that Ray Romano isn't as big a cartoon staple as Mark Hamill or Clancy Brown is a crying shame. Ironically, even Denis Leary's rough voice works for a more serious-minded character like Diego. So it's not like the studio has never done decent casting.

Let me be blunt: I don't love this Dr. Seuss book to begin with. Both Horton AND the Whos had better separate projects elsewhere (in Horton Hatches The Egg and How The Grinch Stole Christmas). The problem is the Kangaroo is such a lousy villain. She supposed to be a stand-in for charismatic authoritarian leaders everywhere, without containing a speck of charisma. What's weird is that Dr. Seuss has created plenty of villains who fit that mold well in The Butter Battle Book, Yertle The Turtle, The Sneetches. But I find the Kangaroo sucks because her wants and needs are stupid and make no sense. I read an online article called "The Basic Laws Of Human Stupidity" recently, and she's checks off all the boxes there. So I find her more annoying than anything else.

Man, that was outright awful. I'm pissed at how bad that was, and how apparently Blue Sky has been skating on crappy movies and thievery for decades. Screw them. This movie sucked. *.