F9: The Fast Saga

So, I see this got mixed reviews. Put me firmly in the camp of people who liked it. And before I start my positive review, I want to set up a few facts right off the bat. Believe it or not, I am super easy to please. The movie didn't have to be great to make me happy. Remember that the next time I tear Titans a new bunghole. Making an enjoyable piece of film and television is not as difficult as the producers of that show make it look. 

If I had to guess, I would guess a lot of the complaints had to do with the fact that the film was too long. And it was. But the thing is, I liked the reason it was too long. It wasn't too long because the action scenes were exhausting and never-ending. They just wanted to do a lot of smaller moments with the characters, especially involving flashbacks with Dom and his never mentioned before brother Jacob. And I think characters are the most important part of any piece of fiction. Did I love those flashbacks? No. But I liked them about as much as the rest of the movie, so I liked them and thought they had value.

As far as retcons go, Dom having a never mentioned brother doesn't really fit with him being a character so insistent about the importance of family. That is a screw-up on the movie's end. I think they were trying to think of a personal scenario for Dom and the crew and they ran out of ideas, so they created one that is both out of character for Dom, and doesn't fit the rest of the movies. I forgave it a little because Dom comes to realize he probably should have gotten Jacob's side of the story back in the day, and they made some sort of peace. I like that Cipher is back to being the villain by the end of the movie. I can't stand that chick, and I'd rather root against her than Dom's misguided brother.

What happened to Mr. Nobody? Obviously a future film will have to deal with it.

While we are on the subject on retcons, Han being alive stretches belief. But I'm glad he is. And I'll tell you why. I love the soft spot the franchise has for Tokyo Drift, its least popular and most underrated outing. They bring back the characters whenever possible, and love referencing it throughout the canon. And I was happy to see Sean and Twinkie again. I used to be a big fan of Lucas Black when he was a child actor so it's good to see him still getting work.

For the record, Tej should not be making fun of a guy named Twinkie so long as he's played by a guy name Ludacris.

I very much enjoyed Roman's frantic speculation about the larger reasons the whole gang has survived 9 pictures and counting. He's upset because he believes the implications are either supernatural or religious. Maybe they are Invincible or Chosen. I liked this moment because I think perhaps Roman ALMOST got to the correct answer by this line of thinking. The reason they've survived all that is because they are FICTIONAL. Cipher brings up a movie allegory herself later on, but I liked Roman's frustration and confusion here because he was THIS close to the actual answer and missed it by just a hair. They ARE Chosen to survive. By the writers of the film. That bit came SO close to breaking the fourth wall that if it had come any closer I'd consider the franchise science fiction. And I STILL don't (even after the spaceship rocket-car).

Han meeting up with Shaw in the tag will be interesting to see in the next movie. Two things I gleaned from Shaw's reaction to seeing him: He's both surprised he's there, and unhappy to see him. That's what I got from that brief look on Jason Statham's face.

Seeing Helen Mirren as Queenie going nuts driving Dom around London made every cent I paid for the Blu-Ray worth it. That was perhaps one of the funniest and awesomest things the franchise ever did.

I especially love how they keep Brian in the thick of things without ever having to show Paul Walker. He shows up in the car at the end even though we can't see him. He's taking care of the kids while Mia is there to help Dom with the situation with Jacob. The writers are adamant that his happy ending be allowed to stick, which is something I love.

I liked the movie a lot. It wasn't perfect, but it was a lot better than a lot of movies people have raved about over the years. I'm thinking people trash-talking this franchise need to do a better job of vetting and reviewing other crappy stuff before they take the potshots at this movie they do. 4 stars.

Gag Reel

Vin Diesel losing his train of thought during the torpid family speech makes it seem even more torpid than it actually is. Especially because you realize Diesel knows it and probably has the entire time. I laughed at Helen Mirren dropping the f-bomb. Also funny that Diesel cannot actually fit into Queenie's tiny car. They must have had to get another. He looks like Gandalf in Hobbiton there. Tyrese Gibson is also one of the best actors you can put in a blooper reel. His movie persona is that of the smoldering dreamboat, but he's really quite a card and cut-up. 4 stars.

Theatrical Trailer

Shouldn't have spoiled Han. Very glad I avoid trailers. Because of crap like that. The moment where Cipher asks Jacob if he can kill Dom is not in the movie. I think it was a good cut. It's a trailer-bait moment but not right for Dom and Jacob's situation. Didn't love the trailer. 2 1/2 stars.