Jay And Silent Bob Strike Back

Since the pandemic hit I have been talking nothing but crap about movie theaters. I have said here and elsewhere that I am never seeing another movie in a theater ever again. Seeing new blockbuster movies from home made me realize what a miserable experience it was, and how I had almost never had a great experience in a movie theater. I said that's happened a total of three times, but looking back on it, I probably overestimated it. I can only actually think of two great experiences. The third experience I counted (seeing Star Trek Generations) wasn't as great as I remembered. The audience was game, and seemed to really enjoy the flick, but I didn't, which is I think the dealbreaker in a great shared movie-goer audience experiences.

The first of the two actual great audience experiences was for the first Naked Gun film. That was riot to see in a full theater in 1989. It boggles the mind to see the farting over the microphone scene in your home because it's not funny at all and goes on forever. The comic timing is pure crap. And yet in the theater we were roaring.

The second and final good time I ever had in a theater was seeing Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.

I had never seen a Kevin Smith movie before this one, but I managed to get tickets somehow for a preview showing, and the theater was clearly packed with rabid Smith fans. Their delight was infectious. The movie is kind of crap watching it in hindsight. But every single joke landed then, and was hilarious, weirdly even the jokes I didn't understand (like the Alanis Morrissette as God tag). I was roaring along with everyone else anyways.

So yeah when Shannon Elizabeth says "Call me Boo Boo Kitty (F-Bomb)" I was laughing along with every other person in the theater.

How is the movie in hindsight?

I suspect it probably gets a little bit of crap these days for being homophobic (it did when it was released too). But I think the real problematic thing is the way Jay treats and speaks to and about women. It's not because it's cringe after MeToo, and we all know better. That actually does not concern me considering the fact that Jay's behavior is not something to be admired. What I think sucks about it is that it's outright stupid.

After the animated Clerks series was canceled, Kevin Smith fumed that that show only lasted for 6 episodes while "that piece of (s-word) Family Guy" was brought back from cancelation twice (three times after he said it, actually. For the record). Let me just point something out about Smith's high horse and Family Guy.

First of all, there IS something to Smith's outrage over Family Guy. The third season of Family Guy was barely tolerable on most weeks, and awful on the rest. But the first two seasons are arguably the worst adult animation produced for television within the last 25 years, not counting Allen Gregory. That much I agree with. I think the first two seasons of that show are downright reprehensible and contain some of the worst and stupidest writing for an animated show supposedly geared towards adults. In hindsight, The Flintstones and The Jetsons make me cringe less than the first two seasons of Family Guy do. No exaggeration.

So my bonafides in believing the era of Family Guy Smith talked smack against sucked are real. But if you look at the first 2 seasons of that show, you will never find a scene as outright stupid as the following in this Kevin Smith written and directed movie.

Justice: "You know, women don't likes to be called (b-words)."

Jay (seriously confused): "They don't?"

Justice: "No."

Jay: "How about pieces of ass?"

Smith can get on his high horse all he likes, but Family Guy has never done a scene as atrociously stupid as that one. Even at its worst. Which is saying something. Early Family Guy was nonstop atrocious. But I mean, there were actually freaking limits to how dumb it got. Not many. But they existed.

The sexism is this film doesn't suck because it's actually harmful. It sucks because it's stupid, badly written, and not remotely credible.

All this being said, it's just one scene, while early Family Guy was pretty much nonstop appalling. That actually means something to me.

I loved both times Silent Bob spoke (Smith always saves it for when it matters) and Ben Affleck and Matt Damon were riots playing loathsome versions of themselves. Well, maybe the fictional Affleck is actually less loathsome than real-life Affleck, but that's an opinion of mine, not a fact. And Mark Hamill has one of the funniest roles of his career at the end of the movie as the guy playing the Bluntman movie villain.

It's also a riot to see Jay and Silent Bob go house to house at the end of the picture and just beat the living crap out of little kids who talked trash about them on the internet.

And "Because I Got High" remains one of my very favorites songs a movie has ever used for the closing credits. It's not just that the lyrics are funny. The song is an eminently hummable earworm. I outright adore it.

But why does Kevin Smith always fat-shame HIMSELF? Have some dignity, dude.

Chris Rock had the best role in the movie if you ask me. I personally believe that if I were Chris Rock, I'd be treating all my white costars the way he does here. It's just so funny and unendingly mean. The shocking alternate title he came up with for his version of Sesame Street was both horrible, and sickeningly made me laugh. What is wrong with me? What is wrong with Kevin Smith? And what is wrong with Chris Rock that he actually did that line? Probably the only real answer to all three questions is that the scene is hilarious. And maybe that's the answer, whether it was written by an obnoxious white guy or not.

Is the movie great in hindsight? Or do I notice the real lack of laughs during the long microphone fart and are amazed at how badly-timed that bit plays on home video without a theater full of Naked Gun fans? In this movie's defense, there is some stuff in it that still makes me laugh. But I notice more easily how dumb and badly written it is without a theater full of Massholes distracting me from that with their uproarious laughter. My review is still positive. But I can't pretend the movie isn't super dumb, and that Kevin Smith isn't an overrated writing talent for not only writing it, but believing he's a superior writer to the Family Guy writers. I'll give it a gentlemen's four stars out of five. But I can't go any further than that. ****.