Jurassic World: Camp Cretaceous

That was good, but I'm questioning why I'm still watching the show. I'm as tired of dinosaurs as the campers are, and feel every inch of their frustration and fear. It never freaking ends, and dinosaurs never shut it off. But that's the premise of the show, so I'm wondering why I'm still here.

Sheesh. 3 1/2 stars.

Sabretooth tiger? This franchise is really reaching.

That primal scream scene was beyond lame. Embarrassing, actually.

Invisible compound? Like I said. The show is reaching.

Didn't like it. 1 1/2 stars.

Talking robot dinosaurs? Like I said, really reaching.

Man, Yaz is kind of pathetic. What kind of hot mess do you have to be to be rejected by Ben? Yeah, he misread things completely. But that should NOT have been his reaction to her if she was actually coming on to him. Embarrassing.

The inventor of the Brad is a total brat.

Eh. 2 1/2 stars.

I think it's good they are exploring PTSD, but you can't just pick and choose that specific psychology. Yaz suffering from that so severely here is inconsistent with her jokey and flirty demeanor in the previous episode. What kills me is they could have explored this exact premise with Ben and it would be consistent.

I'm with Yaz in being upset that the kids missed their ride for helping a dinosaur. After all that? Screw the dinosaurs. And screw Darius for always screwing over his friends and always convincing them to do the wrong thing that is against their own self-interest. These dinosaurs shouldn't even exist. They are a literal abomination. Darius wanting to freaking HELP them makes him the most annoying and useless character on the show. I've come to loathe the little creep.

I'm glad trauma is being explored. I am not glad that Darius has still yet to really be called on his crap. This is getting old and he keeps screwing over the group time and again. 2 1/2 stars.

I disagree with many of the conclusions the episode made. Yes, Sammy had little chance if she confronted Kash by herself. But nobody in cartoons like this ever does the obvious. Maybe it's because they're kids, and it's forgivable. But I think this season could have been REALLY short if I were in charge of those kids and not an idiot like Darius.

There are 6 of the kids. Kash is most dangerous when he's giving orders to the robots. If I were in charge of the kids, I'd 6 on 1 bum-rush him and knock him the hell out. Yeah, there were two Brads there at the time. But they had to confront them anyways, along with some uninvited Raptors. Bad guys like Kash can be thumped thoroughly and good if you take them down FAST. (This is also what superheroes needed to be doing to Amazo, Taskmaster, and the Super Adaptoid). They wouldn't need to be playing The Long Game if they had the wits to play the Take 'Em Down Hard And Fast Game. One big problem with my idea is that it would be majorly, majorly violent, and this is a kids show. But still, I don't think Sammy was wrong for wanting to confront and take down Kash when she did. She just needed proper back-up and a quickly put-together plan.

I mentioned I've come to loathe Darius this season. No sooner had I written that than this kid decides for all the kids they have to stay and the protect the dinosaurs and they can't leave until the job is done. In fact, one of the reasons I felt supportive of Sammy doing what she felt was right, is that all of the kids have been far too deferential to Darius' insipid wants and needs to their own sorrow. If Darius think some righteous payback is a bad idea, that means it's probably actually a good one. The pained look at Yaz's face as he said that made me loathe the stinker even more than I already do.

Ben continues to be the series' most valuable player, and the only one of the kids to get in an actual win by spying on Kash and observing he's got a phone. Do I find Ben's "Nature Boy" shtick obnoxious? Yes. But none of the rest of those dumb kids thought to tail Kash.

If I were Darius, I'd be calling "Dogpile on Kash!" and the season is over. Because Darius is Darius instead, this crap will never end. 2 1/2 stars.

I'm digging this. I've been mentioning what a little turd Darius is. That might be the point of the season. Him having no idea his friends were experiencing nightmares and trauma suggests it's possible he might be about to learn about thoughtfulness and doing what is best for others rather than his own wants and needs. The jury is still out there, and the series could still mess it up, but this was the step in the right direction.

I bet there will be a ton of people upset over how underwhelming the Brads are. Their scanning capabilities are laughable. They always miss their shooting targets unless an actual person is actually aiming them. And they seem to be super easy to destroy. But I actually find that quite realistic. And it's a bit comforting to me too as someone who didn't believe they belonged in the franchise. Jurassic Park may be science fiction, but it's set in the present. And present day robots are startlingly ineffective. Almost every robot currently in service in the world has only a single function, because mankind has not developed the robotics technology to make them capable of more than one thing. The fact that the Brads suck and don't work as they are supposed to isn't a case of the writers making overly incompetent villains. It's a case of them making more realistic present day technology. And I totally approve of that.

The ending of Darius' brother realizing he was alive was pretty cool.

We'll see how things go, but this is the right path forward. 4 stars.

Darius isn't a very good liar, but fortunately he doesn't need to be because Kash is both a narcissist and an idiot.

That huge dinosaur was legit scary. Gave me the willies. Took care of the sabretooth tiger though.

Pretty good. 3 1/2 stars.

Not the baby dinos!

Finding out none of the chips worked sort of made the adventure feel pointless, didn't it? Oh well. At least the kids have a way to talk to Darius now.

Pretty good. 3 1/2 stars.

Those baby dinos sure are cute.

Kash is an underwhelming villain simply because he still hasn't figured out that Darius has accomplices. It's pretty obvious when you think about it. 3 1/2 stars.

Jurassic World: Camp Cretaceous "Taking Control"

Oh my God, Bumpy at the end is totally Seymour from Futurama! What a great, sad, and unexpected update.

The action on this show continues to be top-notch. I feel like Fast & Furious Spy Racers' tone is totally outside of that franchise. But the scary dinosaur scenes on this show are pure Jurassic Park even if the Dreamworks Animation dialogue is as clunky as Spy Racers.

And also maybe I should amend that. The dialogue may not be great here, but it's nowhere NEAR as clunky as Spy Racers. 4 stars.

Great ending. Kenji's dad is the Big Bad? That solves quite a few problems. And opens up a ton of new ones. I'm predicting next season is the last. That's a pretty great hook.

The best thing is that him being a villain sort of explains Kenji's pampered and spoiled attitude from the first and second seasons. If he seemed like a spoiled, entitled jerk in the beginning, that's simply how he was raised. I love how perfectly that fits his arc thematically in hindsight.

I also want to give the show a shout-out for being the scariest U.S. kids show in existence. Arguably Doctor Who from the U.K. is scarier. But not every single episode. This show's scares and tension are legit, and pretty consistent episode to episode too.

On the negative side I want to kick the kids for not setting a guard or two on Kash. They are really bad at this.

That was probably the best ending for a season so far. I'll grade the episode accordingly, even if it wasn't actually perfect. 5 stars.