Live And Let Die (James Bond 007)

That was a first. This is the first James Bond movie that isn't just a bad James Bond movie. It's a bad movie, period.

It strikes me as incredibly tone-deaf in hindsight that Bond seems to be going up against the entire Black Power movement. All of New Orleans and Harlem seem to be in on it, and all of them want to stick it to Whitey. Am I the only one bothered by that?

And Bond leaping across the alligator's backs to escape is only a good way out of that deathtrap if he's Frogger.

Did the producers actually think Yaphet Kotto's Mr. Big disguise was fooling anyone? Or do they sincerely think the audience believes all black people look and sound alike?

Kotto is not terrible in the role however. One of the few non-sucky things about the movie.

Do you know what pisses me off? I was looking forward to seeing Jane Seymour as a Bond girl. Because 50 years later that woman is still smoking! To get a chance to see her in her prime? I was swooning over the idea! But the experience is ruined by how badly Bond treats her. He essentially tricks her out of her virginity. Mr. Big suggesting he could "take her power away at any time" is also loathsome in hindsight. And where the hell did Bond get a deck of all "Lovers" playing cards? How dumb is the audience to this supposed to be?

Sheriff Pepper suggests their level of intelligence is thought to be VERY damn low. As problematic as the black characters and themes are, Pepper is easily the most cartoonishly offensive racial stereotype the movies have done yet, whether he's white or not. I hated every second he was onscreen, and cherished every moment he wasn't (which is saying something because the rest of the film sucked). He was this franchise's version of Dolores Umbridge. Or more like Boss Hogg before Boss Hogg was even a thing.

But really his grossness doesn't let the black stereotypes off the hook. I basically threw up my hands at the Voodoo zombie at the end. Good God.

Last but definitely NOT least, how dumb is a movie set largely in both Harlem and New Orleans to have the title song sung by Paul McCartney and Wings? It's like the movie was TRYING to piss me off with that. And they obviously weren't trying very hard. I'm super pissed.

If there is a worse James Bond movie in my future, I'll be surprised. I'll share my future thoughts on Roger Moore if and when he is gifted a movie that doesn't totally suck ass. 0.