Octopussy (James Bond 007)

Failing grade. Just barely, but still. Enough wrong things happen, you get a wrong movie. It wasn't until the last 15 minutes that I knew I'd be dragging it for sure, but it was cumulative.

Let's start with the good, since there wasn't much. While Roger Moore is getting way too long in the tooth to play James Bond, I like that at least Maud Adams doesn't feel too young for him. She's still gorgeous yeah, but she's really one of the rare Bond girls of this era with some maturity to her.

What went wrong? Everything else.

Bad theme song. Not as bad as "For Your Eyes Only" ("An All-Time High" could never be accused of being an earworm) but it did suck.

I also feel like the pace was slower and less frenetic than the last picture. It doesn't make sense to me that the pace of the franchise slows right back down for this movie.

Damn it, they shouldn't have explained Octopussy's dumb name. Because learning her father called her that is super creepy. Some overthinking this crap, producers. You aren't explaining it. You're ruining it.

She turns into a damsel in distress at the end too, which just pissed me off.

I think the biggest and truest complaint I could give the film is that it's the lowest stakes Bond film ever. Yes, there is a nuclear bomb in play that Bond finds and stops in the course of his mission, but his mission is... to stop the sale of counterfeit Faberge eggs? Do I have that right? Yeah, it led to Bond saving the U.S. from an atomic explosion, but that's incidental to how low-stakes that specific mission was. Next you'll have M delegating him to investigate tax fraud. Some crimes are exciting. Stealing Faberge eggs is not.

Didn't dig it. **1/2.