The Breakfast Club

Extremely, shockingly negative impression. I expected to dislike it this go-round but was shocked by how much I truly did. So do I do a thorough trashing of the film on a point-by-point basis? That is my general inclination when I come upon a movie or TV episode this toxic. The thing is I believe the movie is so beloved, any complaints by me would fall on deaf ears. I'm not saying the film hasn't lost any of its fans decades later because of MeToo. But I won't be telling those people anything they don't already know, and for the people who STILL love the movie, I'll just be an Edgelord contrarian whiner. Did this movie aggravate me enough to take on that role? We'll play it by ear, but the truth is the movie DID greatly aggravate me. It's not totally worthless, but it is much worse than I remembered. And the awful truth is I think it's only considered a good film because as far as movies made in the 1980's go, it's actually pretty average. Which is a blaring indictment of the era.

It's not exactly a comedy and doesn't bill itself as one. But it's considered a comedy-drama. I just believe it should be stated for the record, I didn't laugh once. It's just NOT funny. I'm not saying this as a politically correct prude. If an offensive joke is funny, I will be inclined to laugh whether I approve of the joke deep down or not. The comedy just isn't remotely funny. It's stupid.

I am struggling to figure out how this is a popular successful movie and Howard The Duck is the 1980's cautionary tale. To be fair to this film, Howard is actually dumber, and by quite a bit. But this movie is far meaner and more unpleasant which makes the fandom it's engendered puzzling to me. Bender's harassment of Claire is super ugly and creepy, and the bit with him browbeating her after the lipstick trick is just beyond the pale. And Brian is right Claire is conceited, and this is just a group of people I don't like spending any time with or learning about their problems. It would be one thing if Bender's disgusting behavior towards Claire was used as a way to prove Bender sucks. But he gets the girl at the end. And Allison and Andy hook up because Claire has made her more traditionally attractive. Again, I am aware I am not saying anything new the detractors of this film haven't said a million times before. I'm just surprised it still has any fans left at this point at all.

I supposed I should talk about some of the good things. The soundtrack IS great, although in a 1980's movie a great soundtrack is quite common.

I liked Vernan threatening Bender and daring him to hit him. It's not that I found that moment believable to my youth. But one thing people don't like to admit about the authority given teachers and principles is some of them could easily abuse that authority and the kid would never be believed. I'm never had a teacher says the things Vernon says to Bender. But I feel if I had, there would be little to no recourse there, especially if I was considered as big of a delinquent and bad seed as Bender is.

The other thing I like that John Hughes doesn't get enough credit for is the conversation between Vernon and Carl the janitor about how scary the future being these kids' is. Vernon is a jackass, but it is to the movie's credit his entire role isn't simply as the bad guy to the students. He has hopes and dreams too and opinions of his own. Did I find the scene particularly well-written or insightful? Not especially. But it existing at all in the film says that Hughes was at least ATTEMPTING realism and not simply pandering to teenagers. And let's be real. There is a HELL of a lot of pandering there.

My Church used to do co-ed sleepovers (with adults present, dummy) as part of Confirmation when I was a teenager and I remember this was one of the movies we were allowed to watch (the R-rated version on videotape no less). I can't tell if that makes my Church awesome or messed up. Before the rewatch, I'd say the former, now I say the latter.

I guess I'm about done with the review. It's about all I need to say. I won't change any minds and for people who agree with me, they've reached these conclusions years ago. Forgive me for being so late for reaching them. It's literally been years since I've seen it. *1/2.