The Chronicles Of Riddick

I don't know what I expected, but I didn't expect that. I didn't like it.

I suspect this review is gonna be medium length, but usually reviews that are a few paragraphs long, particularly for stuff I don't like, get into the nitty gritty and the details. I feel that would be a mistake here. Not only because the details confused me. But I think the failings of the movie had more to do with the tone and the premise than the plot, so generalities are more called for than specifics.

As far as details go, as I'm gonna note two things: I was annoyed Iman was killed off and so soon. And I was doubly annoyed at the cliffhanger ending. They didn't even NEED the Judi Dench voice-over suggesting a coming crisis. It wouldn't have been a great ending with Riddick on the throne, but it would have been a complete one at least.

As for Judi Dench, I suppose her being in this movie is only slightly more ridiculous than Helen Mirren being in the Fast And Furious movies. She's slumming, but that's the actual gag.

All of the specifics out of the way? Good. I'll tell you why I didn't like this movie. And I probably wouldn't have liked it much at any rate, but it was the absolute wrong follow-up to Pitch Black. They were telling the wrong movie. As far as a franchise having a relatively intimate opening goes, and greatly expanding the universe bit by bit without the audience even realizing it until things are huge that they were all along (See Bone, or better yet, Gilda And Meek) I love that notion. The thing is, if you're gonna do that, it has to be consistent and fit in with the first project. That's non-negotiable. It is clear the writers of Pitch Black did not write the ideas in this movie down beforehand or act like it was possibly part of some larger sci-fi fantasy universe like when Pitch Black was written. There was no groundwork laid there because this idea didn't exist. And this is NOT an idea you can just make up on the fly and insert into any movie you like, especially not one like Pitch Black. As far as we knew, that movie simply took place in the future for Earth's humans. And it was a pretty hardcore science fiction film. It was billed as a horror flick, but it was of the "Alien" variety of horror films. This is pure fantasy with spaceships. Would you have been happy if James Cameron turned the Alien franchise into Star Wars in the second picture? Of course not. Because it's not set up.

The characters in the film speak in the cartoonish fantasy British monologues from The Lord Of The Rings, Star Wars, and Game Of Thrones. In the last film the characters talked like real people. In the first film the only aliens seemingly present were the monsters trying to kill Riddick and the other survivors. And the aliens itself were quite realistic seeming as far as strengths and weaknesses go (them being destroyed by light was a great hook) and these Necromongers and whatever have magical powers. It's absolutely 100% the wrong movie to tell after Pitch Black. Pitch Black was raw and grounded. I don't even care that it was R-rated. That did not strike me as necessary to making that a good film (or this one). But not only was there no set-up, I'd argue it doesn't even fit in hindsight. I'm arguing the entire movie is a giant retcon. And I can't really see an argument that exists that it isn't. This movie should NOT exist in this form.

I like the big sci-fi fantasy movies. Even ones that's aren't amazing like David Lynch's Dune are all right by me. I just didn't feel this was remotely acceptable. And before you ask, I would have felt this way even if the movie were otherwise amazing. I would have still resisted it. But it's actually mediocre, which makes me want to reject it entirely.

I don't know WHAT the producers were thinking but they messed up bad. **.