The Crying Game

This is not a movie I revisit that often. I think I've seen it twice before this. Once in the theater and once on home video. But unlike many other films I love, for some reason or another, I have not rewatched this over and over again, and haven't seen it in many years.

I was a little leery of rewatching it. It has come to my attention the film is considered somewhat damaging to the transgender community. Not just for Fergus' violent reaction Dil upon learning her assigned at birth sex, but also because it treated being transgender as flashy and odd, and sort of the crux of the surprise twist. And I was very aware of those complaints going in this time.

I am not transgender, so my radar might be a little off. But I sensed NONE of that in the film. I think the damaging things mentioned might perhaps have been more tied to the ad campaign for the film regarding "keeping the secret" and how both popular culture and media responded to "Oh the chick from The Crying Game is a man." The film itself is not that crass or insensitive. Fergus himself has a hard time calling Dil a woman, but he still never ONCE neglects to use the "she / her" pronouns, which pleasantly shocked me. Also as far as his violent reaction goes, I was expecting 20 years later that he beat the crap out of her. He shoved her off him instead. I'm not saying I loved that, or remotely thought it was cool that he then threw up. But if someone is advancing on you, and you immediately want to end the sexual encounter, you shove them off. I don't love him for that, but it's not outside of the bounds of someone changing their minds at that stage of sex.

And part of the reason I think the film got some justified guff is the jokey fact that the opening song is "When A Man Loves A Woman" and it closes on "Stand By Your Man". And yeah, I get that. But it's the hype surrounding the movie that's problematic. I found the movie itself quite great.

It's amazing how moved I was by the Fergus and Dil 'ship. By the end, him going to prison for her is not just him trying to protect her. Her saying it's a demonstration of love is correct. And I yeah, he doesn't like the terms of endearment. But I think they ARE a couple counting the days down until his prison sentence is over. And as dark as the film sometimes gets, I love that the last scene is funny and delightful.

I also very much love that Jody considers Fergus his friend, even at the end. And do you know the messed up thing? I think he was right. And he would have been even if Fergus HAD shot him. Their scenes together are amazing. "JOOOODDDDYYY!" Say what you will about the ad campaign, that moment WAS great trailer-bait.

I have bemoaned elsewhere the prevalence of The Scorpion And The Frog parable in the rest of popular culture. Aside from the fact that the moral itself is an utter crock, it's entirely overused and cliched at this point. This movie doesn't get my usual demerits for it though. Just because this was the first thing I ever saw use it. It's not its fault everybody else decided to be a copycat about it.

One thing is different from when I saw it as a teenager: I actually understood the characters' motivations for the first time ever, so the movie actually makes sense and I think the story is great. There were a lot of political aspects to the story I just didn't get back then and the movie feels MUCH more solid as an adult who finally understands it.

I love Dil's interplay with the bartender Col. And yeah, he cares about her too.

I loved this film back in the day, and I was SO worried my 2023 standards would be making me scowl, like it seems to for practically every movie made in the 1980's and 90's. But regardless of how society reacted, it's essentially a love story between a man and a woman, with the man having to learn to accept she's a woman. And I can't speak for the transgender community. But I found their relationship sort of beautiful. Which is a positive thing and something to be admired.

But I could be wrong and insensitive. But I really love this movie. Hopefully it won't take me another 20 years to rewatch it. *****.