Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (2023)

I really, REALLY liked it. There were plenty of nits for me to pick, but taken as a whole, I was very satisfied by that. My concern over my positive review is that the general consensus of The YouTube Neckbeards was overwhelmingly negative. I'm gonna push back on that a bit. Apparently The Neckbeards smelled blood in the water about both Disney and Lucasfilm here, and are gonna paint this in the worst possible light to feed into their so-called "Anti-Woke Agenda". Sometimes, there is no politics attached to a film. Sometimes a solid Indiana Jones film is just a solid Indiana Jones film. Maybe there IS no larger Woke Messaging or Hidden Agenda. Maybe the filmmakers simply created a film they thought people would enjoy. But that's as far as the conspiracy goes. Maybe The Neckbeards attaching messages to this film that aren't there says more about the Neckbeards than this film.

I'm not going to lie. I did not enjoy everything. I think the biggest mistake of the film was during the first part when they de-aged Harrison Ford for the WWII stuff. They forgot to de-age his voice, and it's jarring and feels out of place to hear Ford's current old man gravelly growl instead of young Ford's low-key soft and smooth voice coming out of that young character. And in Star Wars, in both The Mandalorian and The Book Of Boba Fett, they faced a similar challenge in bringing back Mark Hamill as Luke Skywalker from the Return Of The Jedi era. The main problem being that Hamill now sounds absolutely nothing like he did back then. Hell, I don't even think he sounded like he did in Jedi back in 1992 when he was voicing the Joker. But the Star Wars stuff took that into account, and artificially modulated the voice, and had his son do some stand-ins. The fact that a couple of TV shows (admittedly big-budgeted ones) can do this but an even bigger budgeted movie cannot is sad.

I like all the small parts for many of Indy's old friends like Sallah, and I was hoping beyond hope Karen Allen would appear at the end and she and Indy would reconcile. And that happened. Why would I hate the movie for doing that?

It helps that I don't view this franchise through rose-colored glasses. I think it's done exactly TWO great / good films (Raiders / Last Crusade), one mediocre film (Crystal Skull), and one dreadful film (Temple Of Doom), as well as an amazingly boring TV show (Young Indiana Jones). I was willing to take what this film gave me without too much fuss.

I love the bits where Indy grabs his whip and everybody in the room raises their guns at him. The gun comedy bit giveth in Raiders and taketh away here.

Indy claims he never killed anybody. No Indy. That gun gag in the first film makes you a liar.

I found Helena insufferable, but I think that's an unfortunate facet of many of the leading ladies and secondary characters. It was not jarring or unusual. This is what the franchise is.

Speaking of which, I know the bugs and the snakes scenes used to rile up kids on the playground in the 1980's over the gross-out, but it feels like a VERY outmoded scare after the Saw films, don't you think? I understand that's a big part of the franchise. But I think maybe it's one of those things they ought to have phased out in 2023.

Good move killing off Mutt between the films. Not just because Shia LeBouf is unhirable now, but it gives a legit reason for marriage problems with Indy and Marian. And really, the only person who ever liked Mutt was George Lucas himself. He actually thought that was a good name and it was a good character. The only thing that would have been better than learning Mutt died off-screen between movies is actually seeing it happen at either the end of the last film or the beginning of this film, so we all could have enjoyed it and appreciated it together. Seeing Mutt die horribly would have been the most pleasant of shared theater experiences.

I don't hate Crystal Skull as much as most Indy purists do. But Mutt, man. He was the worst.

I was unhappy the Black CIA lady got shot in the stomach and died. This is a movie franchise with few Black characters. Did the director understand the responsibility he had by introducing them for maybe the first time here? I believe every death you show in fiction makes a statement. So you'd better be sure of what statement you want to make before killing somebody off.

I'm not crazy about the Nazi stuff. Spielberg expressed great regret over using the Nazis as the bad guys in the early films around the time he made Schindler's List. He felt that was trivializing the horrors of the Holocaust. He wasn't wrong. So it's both a little disappointing it's returned, and that Spielberg actually has an Executive Producer credit (as does George Lucas).

I did like the idea that the main Nazi's plan to win the war was to go back in time and kill Hitler and take his place. As evil bad guy plans go, it doesn't suck.

I'm betting there's an alternate ending out there where Indy stays in Ancient Greece, and you know it probably would have been the better ending for the franchise. It would have finalized the Indiana Jones series if he was lost in time, as well as keeping the filmmakers' promise not to kill him off. Yes, the problem with the super happy cameo ending with Sallah and Marian is that they can now actually make a 6th movie if they are so inclined. But I still feel it's the more satisfying way to end things if this IS the last film (and the box office says it is).

I liked it a lot although it's imperfect. But I don't demand perfection to give out high grades. That's never been my deal. I'm super easy to please. 4 1/2 stars.