Action Figure Insider Forums - Recent Topics

Flow

Matt Zimmer — Mon, 01 Dec 2025 10:06:19 +0000

Flow

The Twin Peaks fan in me is intrigued. I just have a ton of questions. And since there is no dialogue we get no answers.

Most of the picture is sunny so what caused the flood? What made it recede at the end? When is this set? Is it post-some apocalypse? I ask because where are the people? Buildings and structures are there but where are the people now? Who made the giant animal statues and why? WHERE is this set? The eclectic group of animals makes that hard to pin down as well. What was the lightshow / portal at the end with the kitty and the secretarybird exactly? Is it a portal to the afterlife? Did the secretarybird die? What is up with the sea monster / mutant whale?

Do you know what my REAL frustration over these mysteries is though? David Lynch actually used to give me a LOT more to work with.

I’m not going to say that deserved to win an Academy Award. But considering the shlock being currently churned out by the major studios, I understand why it did. Must have been refreshing for the Academy not to have to contend with a picture that ended on a hip-hop dance party.

The vistas in the animation are beautiful. The animation on the animals is hit and miss. They act like animals, but it’s CGI, and because the animation strives for realism, there is a ton of uncanny valley present.

A dialogue free movie is great for international audiences too.

My biggest complaint happened at the beginning. The cartoonishly huge amount of different movie studios named in the coproduction credits was ridiculous. I have NEVER seen that before and I hope to never see that again. Family Guy did a bit about those overlong studio credits and how they keep tricking you into thinking the movie is starting, but as long and deliberately lame as that bit was, this was pretty much five times longer. I couldn’t believe it. I was like “Are you kidding me?” And I saw this on HBO Max! I would have been crawling up the walls in the theater.

But the film itself is solid, if imperfect. I’m gonna go on Wikipedia and see if there are any answers to my questions. Part of me hopes there are and part of me hopes there aren’t. 4 stars.

UPDATE: There aren’t. Rats. Or maybe good.

Stranger Things 5: Final Season (Netflix)

Matt Zimmer — Thu, 27 Nov 2025 15:21:38 +0000

Stranger Things 5 “Chapter One: The Crawl”

This is one of those shows that when you haven’t seen it in awhile, you actually forgot how good it is.

Not much else to report other than I’m worried for Dustin. 4 stars.

Stranger Things 5 “Chapter Two: The Vanishing Of Holly Wheeler”

Like all good horror, this show knows how to use peppy standards to scary effect (in this case “Fernando” and “Mr. Sandman”). The X-Files and Millennium also excelled at this.

I think Steve is being way too hard on Dustin but I think he’s right to be mad at Jonathan. While I DO believe Nancy is currently sweet on Steve, I also believe she is not currently on Steve’s radar. Jonathan is imagining things on his end, and he might not be if he were less of a terrible boyfriend.

Robin and Will’s stuff was fun. I firmly believe Will is gay which is another reason it must have been cathartic for him to meet another person in the closet.

By the way, can I just say what a shitty decade the 1980’s were? I am glad to no longer be living in them.

Just hearing Joyce mention the Flux Capacitor of all things means the kids know she’s being played.

Speaking of references, I had a feeling A Wrinkle In Time was gonna come up this year. Not just based on Mr. Whatsit, but an upcoming episode title too.

I love Eleven taking charge in the Upsidedown much to Hopper’s chagrin. Because there ain’t anything he can do about it, at least not while he’s currently as hurt as he is.

I will miss this show. 4 stars.

Stranger Things 5 “Chapter Three: The Turnbow Trap”

Nice ending! Best Max reveal possible.

Erica scares the shit out of me which is the precise reason I love her. Goddam.

Man, those freaking kids have better fucking plans than the army. They are always taking care of business.

Also Hopper and Eleven are out of fucks to give.

Will’s curiosity about Robin’s orientation is another big clue he’s gay too. Also nobody has bowl haircuts anymore.

This is the good shit. Murray delivers because he’s Santa Claus and this is a Christmas miracle. 5 stars.

Stranger Things 5 “Chapter Four: Sorcerer”

Vecna should NOT have fucked with Will. Big mistake. I’ll tell you why. Even if Vecna was right he chose Will because he was weak, he forged him through the fire and made him strong and the agent of his own destruction.

But I think he’s full of shit about it anyways. Because he also chose Max, the furthest thing from weak. He’s full of it.

Will and Robin’s heart to heart MADE the episode. Fuck the hour and a half of visual effects, if the episode was JUST that scene it would still get five stars. It’s not about Mike. It’s about Will and it always was. Awesome, empowering moment in an era where gay empowerment was scarce.

The visual effects look amazing but I’m wondering if they even NEED to look that amazing. The budget on this show is ridiculous and seems to necessitate Netflix canceling numerous GOOD lower budgeted shows to make up for the shortfall. I still would have enjoyed this episode (and the series) equally if the visual effects were TV quality instead of film quality. And maybe we could have gotten a second season of BEEF too.

Epic episode. But I’m not sure it needed to LOOK that epic to LAND that epic. I could however be wrong. 5 stars.

Jurassic World: Chaos Theory: Season 5 (Final Season)

Matt Zimmer — Thu, 27 Nov 2025 05:47:06 +0000

Jurassic World: Chaos Theory "Arrival"

All right.

Brooklyn is kind of an asshole. And I think Kenji thinks he has more juice than he actually does. We'll see. 3 stars.
Jurassic World: Chaos Theory "The Maze"

Aggravating.

It's narratively okay (and interesting) that Brooklyn sucks. What pisses me off is she has no IDEA she sucks. She's genuinely surprised Darius is pissed.

Also Kenji is a tool for falling for the trap at the end. I saw it coming a million miles away. If it looks too good to be true on dino islands, that means it is.

Poop. 2 1/2 stars.

Jurassic World: Chaos Theory "Familiar Faces"

One of the things I disliked about Camp Cretaceous in hindsight is it portrayed Wu as a typical mustache-twirling villain. Which would be fine except Dominion said he had sincere regrets. Finally, the Camp Fam cartoons know what the left hand is doing.

The scene with the dinosaurs trying to eat Smoothie was legitimately upsetting. I mean, I know it's actually a horror franchise, but this show is for kids and that was a bit much.

Better than the first two episodes this season. 3 1/2 stars.

Jurassic World: Chaos Theory "Ctrl + F"

This is a show where the dialogue is ALWAYS shaky, but you usually can forgive it because it has other virtues.

Can't do that with an episode with a "No, WE did it." Not possible. 1 1/2 stars.

Jurassic World: Chaos Theory "Give & Take"

Tense episode. The problem of getting out of the Jeep in the tree was interesting and the wrinkle of the Jeep falling and its alarm going off was a pretty good curveball.

I also like that despite the fact that Brooklyn saves Sammy's life, Sammy (a character I usually can't stand) instead makes it crystal clear the show isn't going to take the easy way out and have THAT be the thing to make her forgive her, as if all the other crap Brooklyn pulled didn't actually matter.

Bad things? The pathos in the final scene was extremely poorly written, even for THIS show, and landed with a thud. The voice acting and animation didn't help. 3 1/2 stars.

Jurassic World: Chaos Theory "Fire"

I loved the scene between Ben and Yaz. Poor dialogue or not, the drama felt earned. I also forgot Ben was the first person she came out to.

Smoothie sure is a cute little fella, isn't he?

Opinion: The giant locusts were the worst part of Dominion. Randomly making them on fire here doesn't make them either more interesting or relevant.

I liked the show tackling pain in as realistic a manner as a kids' show can.

Can't be a ton of blood or cursing, but I felt like the show put in extra effort to show how scary and painful a serious injury is.

I thought it was good. 4 stars.

Jurassic World: Chaos Theory "How Strong We Are"

Very interesting character insight that Ben does NOT like being taken care of or dependent on other people. Lots of people are bad patients actually, but Ben’s hang-ups there involve guilt and self-doubt, which is pretty interesting.

Solid-ass episode. 4 stars.

Jurassic World: Chaos Theory "Lights Out"

During the episode I wasn’t 100% certain they’d actually let Ben die, but they sure as hell were putting in the emotional legwork, so it didn’t actually surprise me.

I love that it’s a show for kids that has Darius’ moral about love. Love is messy. Love is complicated and not one size fits all. Not every person loves the same ways either. It’s both scary and wonderful for all of these reasons.

Yeah, that was pretty damn great. 5 stars.

Jurassic World: Chaos Theory "Fare Well"

I should be disappointed they immediately bought back Ben’s death… But, you know, it IS a kids show. Perfectly understandable.

Speaking of kids shows, I mentioned before this one is great at adding complication to complication. Even though you are PRETTY sure Ben made it (Camp Fam is too happy in the Epilogue for him not to have) when you see the car pull, up, you’re disappointed it’s Gia, and you’re hoping beyond hope she’ll get out and open the passenger side door and… What I’m saying is the tension is good enough to make the obvious, most likely thing feel in serious doubt, which is a good skill for a kiddie show to have, considering they ALWAYS have to Nerf that shit. Justice League Unlimited was another kiddie show that buried my cynicism in the right moments. Not the worst company to keep there.

The T-Rex has always been the franchise’s Wild Card. Sometimes they’re the worst thing the heroes can ever face and sometimes they’re their salvation. The T-Rex is a pure animal running on nothing but instinct (and id) and their motives are neither good nor evil. But they tend to help as often as they hurt. The fact that the T-Rex is often on the Good Side is another thing to state nature is chaotic and can’t be predicted or controlled.

Cool the show didn’t buy back Dr. Wu’s, oh, I’m sorry, HENRY’S redemption.

I would like Universal to put out a Complete Blu-Ray Ultimate Collection of both this show and Camp Cretaceous (along with that show’s interactive special). I’m pretty sure this is it for Camp Fam, and truthfully I would have been good with them ending at the last show. This one just seems like a nice bonus. I’m not sure I’d want to push things further. 5 stars.

Avatar: The Last Airbender General Discussion Thread

Matt Zimmer — Tue, 18 Nov 2025 16:30:52 +0000

Avatar: The Last Airbender “The Boy In The Iceberg (The Avatar Returns Part 1)”

Oh, man. I MOSTLY didn’t like that. Because of Sokka. Is he a main character? Then the show is already in trouble. Maybe they made him a bigger lout than usual here to drive the conflict, but that’s not good at all. For now I cannot stand any moment that jackass is onscreen.

I like Uncle though because he suggests people in the Fire Tribe are not all bad or all good. Unlike Sokka that is good messaging for a first episode.

I have misgivings already. 2 1/2 stars.

Avatar: The Last Airbender “The Avatar Returns (Part 2)”

Sokka is a problem for me. I can’t enjoy the show with him in it. For some reason this show decided it would be a swell idea to bring back the 1980’s cartoons’ worst trope, “The Complainer Is Always Wrong” for modern audiences. How did something that stupid infest kiddie cartoons back then to begin with?

See, cartoons back then had “psychological consultants” (I shit you not about this) and their job was to handle the given toons’ kiddie messaging and morals. And because it was the 1980’s, notions of what was good and moral in psychiatry were very different than they are today. It’s why cartoons punished the independent thinker when normally that person ought to be the main hero.

Why has it made a return here? It adds nothing but false conflict for the characters and annoyance for the viewers.

One promising sign is Sokka getting the boat. This suggests that perhaps the show will start OFF Sokka as Brainy Smurf and eventually evolve him into a well-rounded person who learns from his mistakes. That BETTER be what is going on. The show is so beloved I can’t imagine WHY fans would like it unless that’s what was going on. 2 1/2 stars.

Avatar: The Last Airbender “The Southern Air Temple”

First episode I liked.

What helped was Sokka telling Katara “You can’t protect him forever”. I liked it because that was a complaint that was actually right.

Also interesting is the Fire Nation political intrigue, culminating with Uncle telling General Zhao after his loss that Zuko is ten times the man he is. Very rewarding stuff, and considering this comes from the bad guys’ side of the aisle, very promising too.

I am a bit relieved honestly. I can work with this. 4 stars.

Avatar: The Last Airbender “The Warriors Of Kyoshi”

Sucky episode.

Sakko’s sexist bullshit makes him impossible to like.

I also found the chibis annoying too. 1 1/2 stars.

Avatar: The Last Airbender “The King Of Omashu”

On the surface, the episode is pleasant and enjoyable.

But it bugs the crap out of me.

It’s them playing the old king being the boy Aang befriended a hundred years ago as a surprise. I’m sorry, I was told ahead of time storytelling was a strong point for this series. And THAT’S its idea of a twist? The ONLY obvious answer?

Lest you think I’m beating up a kiddie show JUST for making the mystery easy enough for kids to solve, the truth is a TON of kids shows I’ve seen have their share of great twists and rugpulls. Batman: The Animated Series, Justice League Unlimited, Gargoyles, Wolverine And The X-Men, She-Ra And The Princesses Of Power, Transformers Prime, TMNT 2003. A cartoon being made for kids doesn’t preclude it from doing unexpected plot twists.

I mean, yeah, it’s early, but shouldn’t that actually be the point where a show like this tries its hardest?

I am not feeling this show at all. As beloved as it is, I’ve seen five episodes and literally only liked one of them. I’m thankful I didn’t watch this over the air. I fear I might have gotten on people’s nerves. Or worse, maybe my taste back then was actually JUST bad enough for me to make excuses for a show like this.

It’s the second thing that is most shameful, the most likely to be true, and the REAL reason I’m glad to be watching it NOW with this kind of distance. I don’t see how me in this specific fandom would have ended well. 2 1/2 stars.

Avatar: The Last Airbender “Imprisoned”

It's arch, unsubtle, and yes, cringe. The poorly written show this most reminds me of is the original Teen Titans. This will be a slog.

I'm not saying I regret getting into it, but this is the point where I doubt I will very much like it.

George Takei has been cast in better roles but it's amusing when he orders whoever he hasn't thrown overboard yet to search the ship.

Although the idea that a guy who works on a barge can't swim isn't simply unlikely. It's stupid.

Sigh. Another episode crossed off. 6 episodes and so far only one that I've liked. 2 stars.
Avatar: The Last Airbender “Winter Solstice Part 1: The Spirit World”

This was quite good, which at this point is quite a relief to me.

It's interesting to hear the Earth Nation's impressions of Uncle. For us he's wise, and even gentle. To them, he's a war criminal, and not all that impressive.

My favorite part of the episode is my favorite because it's not spelled out. Zuko has a VERY real opportunity to catch up with Aang near the end of the episode. And he chooses to save Uncle instead. I love that the significance of that is never remarked upon, and Zuko did a good thing just because, and will never get credit for it. I'm crazy about that kind of storytelling, and the previous episodes were so arch and obvious, there wasn't much of that present at all.

Sokka suggesting they needed supplies and money at the end suggests that in this case, the Complainer was actually right.

I am very glad this was a great episode. 4 1/2 stars.

Avatar: The Last Airbender “Winter Solstice Part 2: Avatar Roku”

That was wonderful. The scope of the story is epic and the beautiful animation really leans into the anime.

I love that when Zuko feels he must disobey Uncle he says "I'm sorry, Uncle." Villain nuance: I'm here for it.

Zuko says his father will understand him violating the banishment and Uncle, canny guy that he is, blatantly tells him he's giving his father too much credit. He's not an understanding guy.

Another bit of nuance was the fire monk helping Aang. I thought that was cool.

And it turns out the "Previously on Avatar" Narrator is Avatar Roku. Good twist and pretty much the first good twist the show surprised me with.

I think story of the week episodes are a weak point, but when they get into the arc and mythology in-depth, that's when things come together. 4 1/2 stars.

Avatar: The Last Airbender “The Waterbending Scroll”

One of the very good things about the episode is that in the action-packed climax, the show adds complication after complication. Many shows for adults are no good at this, so seeing one for kids able to handle it is indeed impressive.

I wonder why Zuko humors Uncle at all. At first I thought there was a larger wisdom attached to the mission, but no, Uncle is sincerely that dumb. Either way, Zuko’s indulgences, as crazy as they clearly make him, mean he’s actually a good nephew.

Interesting play with Katara’s necklace. It didn’t work. For this. Is there another negotiation it WOULD work for? Unclear.

Katara is mean in the episode but I get why she’s mad. In fact, I’m disappointed the episode itself didn’t articulate it in so many words. But Waterbending is the specific thing that makes Katara feel special. Aang being able to do it so effortlessly is actually diminishing the biggest thing about herself she identifies with. Maybe the show isn’t psychologically complex enough to spell it out precisely that way. But I believe it COULD have.

Solid. 4 1/2 stars.

Avatar: The Last Airbender “Jet”

Super interesting concept with a shoddy as hell execution.

One of the drawbacks to the Complainer always being wrong, is when they are right, nobody listens. I like that the show allowed Sokka to be right. There is actually nothing wrong with being cautious.

While I’ll concede Sokka is “The Boy Who Cried Shitty Advice” the truth is a lot of what he was claiming wasn’t mere advice. He had seen Jet do shady, violent things with his own eyes. And regardless of the fact that Sokka usually sucks, he’s still Katara’s brother. It speaks extremely poorly of her she takes a complete stranger’s word over her own brother.

Aang is not off the hook, but when it’s clear Jet is bad news he instantly believes his own eyes. The fact that Katara practically has to have the threat of Sokka being killed thrown in her face before she changes her mind speaks very badly of her.

This is not the only shoddy facet of the execution. The next problem is something that plagued ALL cartoons of this era, even the good ones like Justice League Unlimited. But Jet is shady. And yet his shadiness is written as a surprise. And yet the animators make his facial expressions and demeanor utterly untrustworthy and sinister looking. Hell, the actual voice performance doesn’t even support that! But for some reason, if a character is secretly bad, the animators of that day and age had NO fucking clue how to hide that fact. Hell, they aren’t even aware they SHOULD hide that fact. Frozen got a lot of shit for Hans but at least that movie had enough sense to make his expressions read good OR evil depending on if you actually knew the reveal. It turns out that shit is actually HARD for animators and was an actual victory. Who knew?

I think it’s important to explore why Katara doesn’t trust Sokka’s judgment and also that urging caution is actually a wise strategy. The problem is the episode itself is completely hamfisted when imparting that moral, and worse, the animation itself works against the entire story. Calling this episode an interesting failure. 2 stars.

Avatar: The Last Airbender “The Great Divide”

For most of the episode I found it mediocre. By the end, I deemed it terrible, filled with syrupy clichés and poor dialogue. It’s just the freaking worst.

That being said, the late Rene Auberjonois wasn’t just a genre legend. He was also a voice-over legend. It was good to hear him. And the animation in the flashbacks was kinda trippy too. 1 1/2 stars.

Avatar: The Last Airbender “The Storm”

Best episode so far.

It proves something I’ve always believed, but few people agree with me about. A conversation and exchange of stories can be just as interesting and riveting as an action sequence. Cartoons and comics ESPECIALLY frown on this, but the storm being the place for the characters to swap backstories shows I’m onto something.

Aang’s story is all right, but nothing Earth-shattering. It’s the idea that Zuko’s exile came about for defending the Fire Nation’s troops from sociopathic orders, and his shitty father essentially punished him for being right makes the correct impression with the Captain who has been increasingly frustrated with him. And when Zuko saves his life in the storm I see exactly why Uncle refuses to write the kid off, despite his inability to make friends and allies.

And you know that shit is refreshing to show for the bad guys, right? It also means the Fire Nation AREN’T the bad guys. If they ever were, they aren’t currently. Everyone is fighting a hundred year war their ancestors started that nobody even remembers what it’s about. Interesting.

My favorite episode as of now. 5 stars.

Avatar: The Last Airbender “The Blue Spirit”

Here’s something interesting: Zuko being the Masked Thief / The Blue Spirit was one of the greatest surprise twists I’ve seen in a LONG time. Keep in mind, I just binged Breaking Bad, The Wire, and Orphan Black. Ultimately the stakes were much lower for that twist than any of the biggies on those shows, but absolutely NONE of those show’s biggest surprises actually shocked me all that much, much less pleasantly so.

Why did this shock me? Two major reasons. Ultimately, I think they are bad reasons, but hopefully going forward I can remember this episode.

The first reason is because I don’t fully like or trust the show. I had absolutely NO idea it was capable of a twist like this. Its last big mystery involved the culprit being the literal ONLY suspect. It doing good is a pleasant surprise, but definitely NOT consistent with the earlier episodes. This show is improving as it goes along.

The second reason isn’t the show’s fault. It’s kiddie cartoons in general, specifically the shit done by Greg Weisman. Although I frankly assumed a similar level of bullshit as Glen Murikami did on Teen Titans too. Edgy kiddie action toons will always have a masked character (and unless you are as incompetent as Teen Titans), they’ll reveal it in a future episode as being someone from an earlier episode who didn’t appear then, or a person in a future episode where the masked person is absent. Basically masked rogues give shitty storytellers license to dick around. And once the reveal is made it gives Weisman and people like him bragging rights to describe every last in and out of the twist, even though that is not remotely anything heroes would ever be calmly discussing and revealing to the villain during the climactic battle.

It’s an excuse for bullshit, and the kind of bullshit a creator like Weisman believes he deserves praise for. The sick fucking thing is he always gets it. THAT’S the thing I truly don’t get. Usually when a magician does a trick in front of an audience, they don’t do it again for that same audience. Because even if the audience can’t figure it out the second time, just seeing it again is less impressive. That is why Weisman’s entire career has been coasting on the twist from “The Gathering” in Gargoyles. He’s never topped it, much less matched it, and he never will. And we all know how the bit works because he’s repeated it so many times. Can I say this complex shit isn’t impressive the second, third, fourth, and umpteenth time? It’s fucking boring, is what it is.

I loved the bit of Masked Zuko holding a knife to Aang so he can escape the guards (because they want Aang alive). It instantly makes you question who would do that to the person they are “rescuing”. Zuko answers THAT mystery tidily too.

I was prepared to be bored, and the episode not only immediately answered the question of the Masked Thief, but the actual culprit fit into the scenario through both motivations and abilities better than any of Weisman’s bullshit ever did. To be truthful, that’s how a mystery SHOULD work, and maybe if the kiddie toon landscape weren’t so currently awful my praise would still be real, but perhaps not actually high. But am I used to being bullshitted, and I wasn’t here.

It’s a good fucking feeling is what it is. Nicely done. The show genuinely surprised me and in a good way. Been a long time since that’s happened. 5 stars.

Avatar: The Last Airbender “The Fortune Teller”

I was a skeptic all throughout the episode. A LOT of things were hitting me wrong, both narratively and philosophically. But that last episode gave them a little leeway with me, and as dumb as things were maybe it would turn out okay.

Aside from the ultimate messaging being bullshit I knew this was getting a negative grade when the last line of the episode was “Floozy”. Made the review easier at any rate.

Major plothole: Why didn’t the village dig those trenches for the lava BEFORE the volcano erupted? If they knew that was needed why didn’t they already exist for preventative reasons? Answer: Bad writing.

So we’ve turned into a will they or won’t they between Aang and Katara. The reason I dislike the idea is because all shows prolong that shit by introducing a third character, someone who either crushes on Aang or Katara that the audience is supposed to hate for having the audacity of wrecking our ‘ship.

Two things to note about that: It’s why I hate love triangles and have not seen a SINGLE one in any piece of fiction that made it better. They don’t ALWAYS make things worse, but usually, and never has it been something that actually elevated the material. On their best day they are a frustrating. More generally speaking, they have the hero with the new love interest sort of subconsciously dig the new person to make their REAL ‘ship jealous. The “benefit” most love triangles bring most shows is it turns the hero into a total user of the new person and asks US to hate the new person for the hero doing that to them.

The other thing to note is that the show shocked me with the masked thief / Blue Spirit. I could totally be wrong a love triangle is in the future. It might be a rare project smart enough not to introduce one.

But to be truthful I’m not counting on it. I also am 99.99% certain that if it happens, that crap will go down JUST the way I said. The biggest thing this show could EVER do to shock me is to make that fucking shitty trope work. But they won’t because I’ve NEVER seen a project make it work and this won’t be the first. 1 1/2 stars.

Avatar: The Last Airbender “Bato Of The Water Tribe”

Another episode I was iffy on for narrative and moral reasons, but when Bato is talking to Katara and Sokka about the pain of losing his tribe and they (Sokka’s idea actually) decide to go back to Aang, I’m like, “Okay, that works.” I’ll allow it.

The episode is imperfect and still getting a passing grade. 3 stars.

Avatar: The Last Airbender “The Deserter”

Aang is super annoying in this episode, but that’s kind of the point. It makes Sokka’s rage at his burning Katara justified for the first time ever.

The reason Aang is annoying is because unlike Mr. Miyagi, Jeong Jeong is completely transparent about the centering lessons he teaches. He’s not tricking Aang into learning muscle memory without realizing it. In fact the lesson is firebending is DANGEROUS, and to attempt it before learning how to center yourself is suicide. Zuko browbeat the poor guy into teaching Aang BEFORE he properly learned waterbending and earthbending, but Aang refusing to center himself anyways is infuriating.

And his explanations of the danger don’t just make sense from a literal standpoint. They are a good explanation for why the Fire Nation was corrupted to begin with, and suggest that the people there aren’t inherently bad. But the element they work with has very little use besides heat and destruction. The good it can do is minimal and the harm immeasurable. And mastering it is nearly impossible if you don’t understand that.

Never understood how much I needed a smackdown between Aang and Zhao until we got it. Always considered that dude an irrelevant loser, and more Zuko’s thorn than the Avatar’s, but if the series is slowly suggesting Zuko isn’t all bad, it’s quickly suggesting maybe Zhao is. Maybe he is the real danger and maybe even the future Fire Lord Aang must defeat.

Favorable impression. Although Aang was being a little shit. 3 1/2 stars.

Avatar: The Last Airbender “The Northern Air Temple”

That is what is known as an “Oh shit!” ending. Legit.

I liked the rest of the episode too. It’s really cool Teo is in a wheelchair (or airchair) and this is a much more fitting role for Rene Auberjonois than his earlier stint in the season.

Aang’s disgust at the new temple is fascinating because he’s not entirely right. But the interesting thing is he’s not entirely wrong either, which is what makes it a good debate.

It’s really cool Sokka is good at science. Not just because he ought to be good at SOMETHING by this point, but because his role as the skeptic and complainer very much feeds into that. But unlike Brainy Smurf it does so in a positive way, which is refreshing. The Smurfs used Brainy to say why science and intelligence are bad. This show uses skepticism to show how it can lead to scientific discoveries. MUCH more valuable use of complaining.

I dug it. Also, Oh shit! 4 stars.

Avatar: The Last Airbender “The Waterbending Master”

Problematic. Not for political reasons per se, but when the actual conflict of the episode is “Girls can’t be Waterbenders!” it means the entire conflict is fucking stupid. And pointless.

The stuff with Zuko and Uncle’s long con was MUCH more successful. I also have to wonder if it’s even necessary, or just the finishing touch on taking Zhao down. Because they KNOW he tried to murder the Fire Lord’s son. Despite Roku’s banishment, how does Zhao actually think the Fire Lord learning that would play in Peoria? I get the need for the subterfuge to potentially bring back the Avatar themselves, but as far as I’m concerned, where the conflict with Zhao goes, they already won.

Zhao made the deadliest mistake somebody planning an assassination could ever make: He missed. He’s fucked. 3 stars.

Avatar: The Last Airbender “The Siege Of The North Part 1”

I am not upset by that ending at all. Why not?

Because seeing Zuko agonizingly holding his breath for minutes on end under the freezing water says something about Zuko: He wants this. More than anything. And considering the amount of suffering he willingly endures for it, I want him to have it.

Face it, Aang never remotely takes his responsibilities this seriously. Ever. Let Zuko win this one.

Uncle telling Zuko he sees him as his son and Zuko affirming the feeling is mutual is why I am on his side. Not the Fire Nation’s, but I don’t believe the Fire Nation is actually on either Zuko or Uncle’s side. In fact, I imagine that is going to be a major theme in the next couple of seasons.

I offered a bold, and probably unpopular opinion, about love triangles earlier. Now the one introduced here isn’t between Aang and Katara but between Sokka and a couple of new characters. Let me ask you this: Was I wrong just going by the show’s VERY first example to go out on that limb before? Did ANY part of that make the episode or the series better?

I would stop having iron-clad opinions about shitty fiction, if shitty fiction stopped spending every waking moment insisting I have to be right. You think my rightness pleases me? It doesn’t. I would far prefer less shitty fiction.

Some general series thoughts heading into the finale. The war motif for the finale makes me uneasy. Because this is a kids show that has thus far, even in this episode, refused to kill anybody. Even TV-Y7 Star Wars cartoons understood, you show war, you have to show death. Even if you undersell it to not upset younger viewers. So far, I am not getting good vibes about this.

These Eastern influences in the animation and pacing are very evident (and beautiful) in this finale. I also take note how rare it actually is for a good drama cartoon to be an original IP and not a remake or spin-off of an existing franchise. That was rare when this show aired (just Ben 10 could claim the same) and it’s almost unheard of today.

I thought most of the episode (besides the love triangle) worked, but I have misgivings about a Game of Thrones battle where no-one is permitted to die. We’ll see in the finale whether I’m worrying for nothing. I hope so. 3 1/2 stars.

Avatar: The Last Airbender “The Siege Of The North Part 2”

Let’s take stock.

I think we are in good shape. I’m not a full believer in the show, but I’m rooting for it. For me this show can be very good when it chooses to be. The problem is it sometimes chooses not to be. I want to believe the fact that things have been improving as they go along is an actual trend and not an outlier. Considering how beloved the show is, I consider that far likelier than it isn’t.

Mark Hamill is the Fire Lord because if you cast Hamill you Go Big Or Go Home.

For the war episode only a single person EXPLICITLY died. But Yue was the RIGHT person, so I accept it. If they are gonna save it for sacrifices like that, I will complain very little about stuff like that.

The series deserves mad props for Koh. Obviously when it comes to adult animation like Castlevania, scarier and freakier stuff exists. But for kids show, only the Jurassic World cartoon spin-offs are scarier than this, and I frankly can’t think of a hand-drawn kiddie show that actually is. Koh is the stuff of nightmare fuel, in both concept and visual appearance, and as scary as he looks and feels, the show manages that all without violating the TV-Y7 restrictions it is under. Quite impressive.

Also impressed that Aang got the best of him. Pleasantly surprised, in fact.

I’m going to choose to believe in this show. It has definite faults and visible flaws, but so do a lot of other great shows. Justice League: Season One sucked donkey balls and Justice League Unlimited is the single greatest cartoon ever produced for television. I’m willing to be amazed as the series goes along and gets better bit by bit. 4 1/2 stars.

BAT-FAM (Amazon Prime)

Matt Zimmer — Sun, 16 Nov 2025 13:48:10 +0000

Bat-Fam "Game Knight"

The animation style is atrocious. The Merry Little Batman continuity is so much fun but I’ll never be able to get over that.

I mean, in this Universe, Batman is a hugger! Who doesn’t want that?

Weird that Ra’s Al Ghul and Man-Bat randomly hang around the mansion.

Good things? 22 minute kiddie cartoon! An actual main title! The theme reminds me of The Addams Family and Scooby Doo.

I want to like this show so badly but it’s SO freaking ugly. 3 stars.

Bat-Fam "Bat-Trip"

It’s SO cool Two-Face reformed. That’s all I ever wanted for the version from Batman: The Animated Series.

Ugly designs or not, this is a very KIND DC continuity. I love that fact. 3 1/2 stars.

Bat-Fam "90 Is The New 80"

James Cromwell is VERY good as Alfred.

The fight between Batman and Bright at the end was great.

I love that Sad Hatter is rooting for the BAT-FAM.

I wish a show this fun looked better. 3 1/2 stars.

Bat-Fam "All In A Bat's Day's Work"

The Clayface design is amusing but kind of cruddy. But he animates amazingly. I’ll go so far as to call it the best animation on Clayface’s morphs ever.

I like that the chair is everything Claire was hoping it would be.

I love E Vil and that Rad Hatter is reforming.

Laughed at Clayface exclaiming, “Matches Malone is Batman!” SO close!

Enjoyed that. 4 stars.

Bat-Fam "A Knight At The Movies"

That Killer Croc is hideous.

Amazed Dr. Light reformed in this continuity. In many he’s pretty much a monster.

Didn’t see Alicia being Bright coming, mostly because I didn’t think it was something to watch out for.

Easily one of the worst Commissioner Gordons of all time. The ones from “Harley Quinn” and “Gotham” are still worse, but I dunno, it’s close.

Liked some of it, disliked some. 3 stars.

Bat-Fam "The Art Of Claire"

I loved Claire’s painting at the end. I also love that she’s unsure of Caitlin until she sees the Wayne Family plaque. That brings home who her real family is.

It almost ANGERS me how likable Damien Wayne is on this show. How fucking hard is this? I really don’t understand DC Comics at ALL.

Solid. 3 1/2 stars.

Bat-Fam "Manbatman"

Man-Bat is super funny. He was an anti-hero in the 1990’s.

I don’t understand the logic of keeping the mission secret from Damian. The fact that it doesn’t actually make any sense which is why I don’t believe it.

Another one of those episodes that is good in some places and bad in others. 3 stars.

Bat-Fam "An Interview With A Batman"

Bruce is kind of a cretin during the entire episode. 2 1/2 stars.

Bat-Fam "April Fools! Part 1"

Horrific ending. Very Batman Beyond: Return Of The Joker.

Bruce continues to do nothing right.

I love Man-Bat digging beds. Have you guys tried this?

Damian being so mad he refuses to yell at Bruce is very relatable. Bruce does not get to dictate the terms of how he is forgiven.

Pretty good part 1 to the finale. 4 stars.

Bat-Fam "April Fools! Part 2"

I felt it was kind of weak for a finale (the dream sequence opening didn’t help) but I DID like the fact that Damian was playing a con on the Joker the entire time, and was never brainwashed. And the last shot makes it clear Ra’s is part of the BAT-FAM, whether they like it or not. 3 stars.

Dr. Seuss' The Sneetches (Netflix)

Matt Zimmer — Thu, 13 Nov 2025 15:07:57 +0000

Dr. Seuss' The Sneetches

So, that was a piece of shit.

The question I have is "How hard do I hit that?" It's a dumb kiddie cartoon. Do I even need to bother?

I'm going double-barrel against that. Just because I can, and because I think I can find interesting ways to destroy that. We are looking at a Matt "Why You Suck" Review rather than a Matt "Terrible. Moving on," review. We're going to do a little introspection for this one. Maybe we'll even learn something. If we do, it will have to be independent of the film. Kids would learn nothing from it.

We'll start off on a tangent. I couldn't finish the Mike Myers Cat In The Hat film. It was so terrible it was legit upsetting. The Cat is making these gross sex double-entendres while winking to the camera in front of VERY little kids. That was the movie where I found out that Mike Myers isn't actually funny. Any credit he was given for that was due to the fact that the early 1990's era of SNL unleashed Adam Sandler, Chris Farley, and Rob Schneider onto the world and he simply stood next to them and and benefited from simply not being as bad. The 1980's and 1990's both being comedy black holes was a VERY good development for the career of Mike Myers (Zucker / Abrahams / Zucker too, as long as I'm being brutally honest). Also Myers always had a creative streak with his Austin Powers stuff. But he was never actually funny, and The Cat In The Hat was the thing that proved it. And face it, his career never recovered from that (and it never deserved to).

Myers' live-action trainwreck of The Cat In The Hat, which for some reason seemed to be winkingly targeted at pedophiles, is the only Dr. Seuss adaptation I have ever seen worse than Netflix's The Sneetches. To be fair, it's MUCH worse, but that ain't no fucking bar this movie needs to brag about clearing.

I very much remembered my review of "The Twits" last week. That was a bad movie too. Not AS bad, but I believe it was made for the same reasons this was. Netflix signed a contract to do Roald Dahl Adaptations and then were going through the catalogue of shit that hasn't been done yet (in a rather perfunctory manner).

The movie is also made solely due to contractual obligations, and because Netflix is randomly sifting through the Dr. Seuss canon. I think one of the reasons this is worse than "The Twits" is because even though "The Twits" book sucked, the truth is, one could usually make a decent film from a Roald Dahl book. Dr. Seuss? MUCH harder to pull off, and I would argue there has yet to be a Dr. Seuss book that has EVER made a good movie.

Good adaptations of Seuss stuff is not unheard of. Chuck Jones' "How The Grinch Stole Christmas" is arguably one of the first great cartoons EVER produced for television, if not THE first. Ralph Bakshi's "The Butter Battle Book" is the most faithful Seuss adaptation of all time, and therefore has an edge to it none of the other animated stuff ever does. And the first season of Green Eggs And Hams was phenomenal. I will totally concede the second season of that show sucked ass, but the first was great, and the show ending up a let-down was not evident at the time the first season aired. I was as shocked that show fell apart as anyone.

Why don't Dr. Seuss stories make good movies or TV shows in general? The short length certainly forces the adaptation to pad the work and add characters and premises not only not in the original book, but stuff that actually seems neither here nor there to the work itself. Worse, because movies are an investment on a studios' end, a LOT of Seuss' ballsy political morals have to be Nerfed. I understand WHY The Lorax decided to tack on an unearned happy ending instead of the bleak dystopian nightmare the book ended in. But the story doesn't have the same impact, or even mean the same thing. There is no "There is only one planet so you'd better take care of it" moral if cleaning it up is not only possible, but as easy as the movie showed.

The most successful adaptations of Seuss books were the TV specials from the 1970's and 1980's. And let me be brutally honest. Most of those specials (including for The Sneetches) were cruddy. The animation was poor, the voice acting stilted, the music unmemorable, and just the entire thing always wound up feeling muddy and dreary. But they tended to be faithful to the books at least.

While Netflix is going through the Dr. Seuss catalogue with a pen and checklist in hand, it NEVER occurs to them that The Sneetches isn't just the wrong project for a movie adaptation, it the wrong one for a movie aimed at small children.

Dr. Seuss often ended his books on unhappy endings. Not always, but just enough to know none of those should probably ever be reworked into Hollywood endings. "The Butter Battle Book" is the best example (and Bakshi famously nailed it for refusing to water anything down), as are Yertle The Turtle, and The Lorax. But The Sneetches' might have the hardest edge to it than any other Seuss book because the ending isn't just cynical, it's cruel on some level. And the edge exists because Seuss is more interested in the moral he's preaching against bigotry and racism than he is in the characters, or even the story.

This films waters down and Nerfs all of those morals just to have kid protagonists and cute animal sidekicks.

One of the reasons The Sneetches landed so hard is the messaging was very similar to Star Trek's "Let That Be Your Last Battlefield". The difference is Star Trek shockingly kept the actual reason for the oppression a secret until midway through the episode when the show basically said to every racist watching "This is how dumb and arbitrary your idiot beliefs are, and how decent people see them and you." And Bele and Lokai were Star Trek's receipts at how fucking WEIRD racism and oppression actually are. Pointless too.

The messaging of The Sneetches is similarly arbitrary, but one of the biggest differences is the reader understands it's bullshit for the entire book, and there is absolutely NO rug-pull or twist involved there. The Sneetches simply suck, and do no matter if they have stars on their bellies or not.

But the reason The Sneetches mattered, is because while a lot of kid lit and kiddie TV and movies tackle racism and bigotry using allegory, the bit of the Salesman who invents a machine to add and remove stars to bellies, and sells to it both groups is WHY that story is so fucking hard-edged and TRUTHFUL. It suggests whatever biases people might already have will be further exploited by Big Business and the powerful to line their own pockets, even if it means the destruction of society. The Sneetches was prescient that way, and its message is more timely than ever. It's the first and thus far only kiddie project to not just suggest racism was wrong and unkind, but to suggest people helping it along might have their own nefarious purposes for it, and not remotely believe in the cause a jot. Them causing you that specific distress is the thing getting them rich. Your oppression isn't due to whether the current trend is for Sneetches to have stars on their bellies on not. It's due to the guy escalating the conflict for his own ends while claiming to each side that he's simply leveling the playing field. But it's not the playing field being leveled. It's society itself.

Yeah, not a good choice for a TV-Y7 movie.

The movie doesn't just Nerf the message. It misses the point entirely. "Racism is wrong" is only PART of the message. What is getting lost is that racism is damaging AND entrenched and not easily defeated. Worse, here both the Star-Bellied Sneetches and the Moon-Bellied Sneetches are shown to be equally foolish about this, so there is no real oppression involved, which is kind of racism's entire reason for being. Everyone is just misguided and can learn the correct lesson upon a couple of tween girls' say-so.

Seuss' cynicism might have upset some younger readers. But the modern era tells me his take is the actual truth about how this shit works, and how unfixable it is with the current people in power making sure that the people they are fucking over never realize it's THEM fucking them over, rather than the feared minority they have gotten their dumb marks to believe is powerful enough to destroy their lives, when the only person truly capable of doing that owns Fox News and the star adding / removing machines.

If I had seen this movie in the 1980's I would have been very impressed. And I STILL think it's a shit movie even knowing that about myself.

The problem with 1980's animation was there were absolutely NO standards. Not only was almost all of it awful. But it was worse than any animation that came before or since. In the years since, the baseline for animation has improved, so there are almost NO current projects as awful as the stuff from Filmation and Hanna-Barbera from the 1970's and 80's.

But just because the baseline is no longer at zero percent, it doesn't make a grade of 55% acceptable. The dialogue doesn't SEEM as outwardly terrible and stupid as an 80's cartoon. But the thing it shares with 1980's cartoons is the absolute refusal to elevate the material on any level, because it believes (not unreasonably, mind) that kids are stupid and will never demand any better from their entertainment.

A famous question I heard an adult ask about cartoons from the 1980's back then was the parent demanding to know why cartoons were NEVER as good as the ones they grew up with themselves. It's because cartoons in the 1980's were designed to sell toys. They didn't NEED to be good to do that. So they weren't.

The lack of effort in this film feels very familiar. No, somebody putting this up against the original Scooby Doo, Transformers, or The Smurfs can see the film is superior to each of those projects in every way. But that's because NOTHING is that bad anymore. The film takes no creative chances, has nothing new to say about the subject of racism, and in fact is a poor adaptation of one of Seuss' most important and moral books.

Back when CGI TV shows were in their infancy, the CGI always looked funky at the time, but it now looks so ugly to modern audiences it makes you want to puke just to look at it. I keep hearing what a great show Transformers: Beast Wars actually turned out to be. I'll never know because the thing is an ugly visual headache I could never sit through, and thus the show is currently unwatchable. I'll take your word for it the stories were tight. But that doesn't even matter if you can't even LOOK at the show. Someday somebody ought to redo that entire show using the same voice and music tracks and just utterly new animation. Fuck, it wouldn't even need to be CGI. But I've always been curious and I'd like to someday watch it without fear of nausea and motion sickness.

The animation here isn't THAT bad, but it's closer to that than acceptable CGI TV animation. It's chintzy, with very little detail to either the characters or the backgrounds.

One good thing about the film is that I found the songs acceptable. Not memorable or anything, but for a LOT of musical cartoons, the songs are actually awful. The melodies to all the songs in this one were passable. That's not nothing.

But really, the movie otherwise is. It's a movie that believes racism is a mushy topic that can be bothsidesed and that it's all down to a simple misunderstanding. For the Sneetches in the book, the racism and oppression is quite deliberate and cruel, the way it actually is in real life. The happy ending here will comfort four years olds, but if talking about racism is something making a person feel comfortable, somebody is doing it wrong. And that should go without saying.

Long review. Awful movie. Do not recommend it. 0.

Star Wars Visions; Season 3

Matt Zimmer — Mon, 03 Nov 2025 01:10:03 +0000

Star Wars Visions "The Duel: Payback"

I learned something bad about this show ahead of this season. None of this is canon. None of this matters. So as beautiful as the black and white animation is, it doesn’t matter because it doesn’t matter.

Holy fuck! Snow Ewoks!

Oh, wait. Snow Ewoks don’t matter. 3 stars.

Star Wars Visions "The Song Of Four Wings"

The animation is cute. But cute animation doesn’t matter.

I liked the origami cranes. But origami cranes don’t matter.

The girl is a Mecha! Cool! But cool Mecha girls don’t matter.

Are you sensing a theme in these reviews? It doesn’t matter because themes don’t matter. 3 stars.

Star Wars Visions "The Ninth Jedi: Child Of Hope"

The short is filled with hoary clichés. But hoary clichés don’t matter.

The animation is dull and unimaginative and has those annoying flapping mouths.

Dull animation doesn’t matter. Flapping mouths don’t matter.

The ending is unsatisfying, but cliffhangers don’t matter.

Am I about to give this short the first legit negative review of the season?

…

…

It doesn’t matter. 1 1/2 stars.

Star Wars Visions "The Bounty Hunters"

Cool asplosions at the beginning. Asplosions don’t matter.

The health monitors being slave collars is predictable bullshit. The heroine knowing that the whole time is interesting. Neither thing matters.

Pop music sucks but it doesn’t matter.

The animators are so lazy that they cover the characters’ mouths whenever possible so they don’t have to lip-synch. Embarrassing, 1980’s cartoon move. Unfortunately, it doesn’t matter.

Do you know what though? It really should. **1/2.

Star Wars Visions "Yuko's Treasure"

The cartoon is cute and kid friendly. But it’s not canon so it doesn’t matter.

Darth Billy doesn’t matter.

The kids look like Mega Man characters. Mega Man matters but this doesn’t.

The Bantha Girl reminds me of Harley Quinn. Why doesn’t that matter?! That should matter! 3 1/2 stars.

Star Wars Visions "The Lost Ones"

This one has bright colors. Color doesn’t matter. Stephen Colbert taught me this. I don’t see color. People tell me I’m white and I believe them.

This one feels overly and cartoonishly tragic and preachy. But since this never happened and isn’t real, I don’t care. I am only moved by melodrama that matters.

Final Grade: It doesn’t matter.

Star Wars Visions "The Smuggler"

Recaps don’t matter.

Me: “When do things start to matter?”

Every episode of this show: “Never. Things never matter.”

This show’s answer is identical to my entire adulthood when I posed it this exact question.

The animation is great, the English voice cast is strong, and the script actually doesn’t totally suck butt. Does that matter? What do you think?

Running out of matter jokes, but only two episodes left. I don’t think that matters. 4 stars.

Star Wars Visions "The Bird Of Paradise"

The animation is stunning. A sumptuous visual feast. But Visions aren’t real and don’t matter. The series’ title and premise don’t matter.

George Takei is a national treasure and deserves to be in a Star Wars project that matters.

Every rug-pull and back-pedal the episode did, down to the entire “It was all a dream” ending makes my reviews for this season relevant.

Do they matter? Here’s the deal: None of these reviews are canon with my other reviews and never happened. They are just a fun What If scenarios for the fans. They aren’t real and don’t actually matter.

Did I just blow your freaking mind? It doesn’t actually matter. 3 stars.

Star Wars Visions "BLACK"

The animation is bonkers, bizarre and as off-putting as the freaky deakiest of Plymptoons. I also see heavy influences from TRON by the end. The funky jazz score sells how insane things are. It’s the only one of these I truly like. But it’s the last fucking episode! Does that even fucking matter? What do you think?

Quentin Tarantino once famously referred to this era of Star Wars as “That Disney shit.” Quentin Tarantino’s dumbass opinions don’t matter.

I just wasted two and a half hours on the other eight super-boring and mostly stupidly-written episodes and now my reviews are out and that wasted time doesn’t even matter. Are you underwhelmed with these reviews? That doesn’t even matter. I’ll make more and the next ones will be canon and matter. But wasn’t it fun JUST once to take a fun What If scenario detour and see what--?

No? I guess not. But it’s done. It doesn’t matter. Clunky final jokes don’t matter either. 5 stars.

The Twits (Netflix)

Matt Zimmer — Wed, 29 Oct 2025 14:51:25 +0000

The Twits

As far as children's authors go, Roald Dahl is extremely problematic. And not just due to the racism in Charlie And The Chocolate Factory. Dahl has a subgenre of books that are short, feature stupid and horrible characters, and are mean and sour as hell. The Twits fell into that cruel and ugly category, and there is really nothing to recommend about the book.

I think the stuff The Twits did was something Dahl designed to be humorous, but as a kid I don't remember much kid-lit, much less Dahl himself, ever making me laugh. Some of the Bunnicula series is funny. I laughed at a joke in Freaky Friday. And The Best Christmas Pageant Ever passes for funny. But Dahl? No, I got he was essentially telling jokes about horrible things happening to horrible people, but none of it was ever funny. And worse, he never had any editors to tell him it wasn't funny. There is literally nothing good about The Twits book.

In fairness, there is little to recommend in the adaptation itself either. It dumb and stupid, but I don't actually believe the book is as poorly written as this (although it's been awhile and I could be wrong). The premise is horrible so they added a couple of "cute" on the surface, but in reality, CREEPY-looking uncanny valley kids to the mix for kiddie appeal. And the end of the girl showing the Twits mercy was the antithesis of the whole rotten ending to that rotten book. But the reason Dahl's books like The Twits and George's Marvelous Medicine are so short is simply because there is nothing to them except cruelty and horribleness. They are the Author unleashing his worst impulses, and his editors and school librarians refusing to say, "Has anybody ever pointed out this is messed up shit for kids to read?" In hindsight The Giving Tree has been given a LOT of (wholly deserved) shit. I feel like a lot of Dahl's stuff deserves the same sort of negative reappraisal for the same reason of being utterly immoral and teaching a bad lesson to kids.

You know one of the reasons Harry Potter is SO fucking mean, and why J.K. Rowling is so fucking mean? She's clearly channeling Dahl in making horrible, poorly-written characters horrible because she isn't talented enough to write a bunch of interesting ones. And I'm trying to think of a character Dahl has written that I really responded to. The closest I can come to that is Matilda, and that was pretty much the last major book he wrote. When it came to most of his output over his entire career, as entertaining and creative as much of it was, the characters themselves were always paper-thin and boring.

But Matt, what about Willy Wonka? Well, I've read both Charlie books, and Wonka as seen there is a is a pure, evil sociopath. Maybe he's a great character in the same way Hannibal Lecter or Patrick Bateman are. But if you are talking about a character in a book for kids, that's not a brag. Gene Wilder, and later Timothy Chalemet completely misrepresented that character to movie audiences, which I think was probably for the best. Not remotely a fan of Book Wonka.

The movie is loud, dumb, and unfunny. I thought the stress hairballs were cute, but the animation as mentioned before, is very uncanny valley.

I thought the Twits running for Mayor was interesting because I do believe that is the film taking a political stand there. The girl turns to her friend and says, "Adults are dumb, but I doubt they'd ever elect a Twit." And if the town screams of betrayal during the Twits' confession isn't largely based on the Leopards Eating Faces Party Meme, I'd be shocked. Do you know what I've learned is wrong with that Meme over the years? Those sobbing people would not even mention leopards after the fact. This is clearly that damned Joe Biden's fault. Back when the Meme started we all foolishly believed human beings could actually learn from touching the hot stove. Remember how adorably stupid we all were? My naivete and belief in the utter goodness of humanity embarrasses me in hindsight. Talk about missed calls.

Also Gene Roddenberry was an idiot. .

A lot of people often question upon seeing a bad movie, "Why was this made?" I dislike that question. I don't think there needs to be a reason for making a piece of art, even bad art. It just comes naturally. The thing is, I don't feel that about this movie. Netflix had a license deal for Roald Dahl's books, so they must simply be crapping through the catalog, even the lousy stuff. And we get this. I honestly believe the reason this film was made was because not using the entire catalog they spent a fortune on was not in Netflix's financial best interest. That's not art. It's commerce. I absolutely detest actors, and even filmmakers, describing their art as "product", but if that's why the film was actually made, isn't that what it actually is?

No, I don't believe any movie NEEDS to be made, and insisting the crappy ones are unnecessary are missing the point. But as far as The Twits go, I feel like I only watched that to fulfill contractual obligations. And it's maybe not the first movie I'd seen do that, but back in the day I wasn't self-aware enough to recognize it. I do now, and it's kind of tacky. 1 1/2 stars.

IT: Welcome To Derry (HBO Max)

Matt Zimmer — Wed, 29 Oct 2025 14:50:23 +0000

IT: Welcome To Derry "The Pilot"

That was engrossing. Didn't expect to like it and I did.

I can't believe they killed off most of the kids at the end. They were setting us up for a new Losers Club and then they do THAT. Shocking.

Good for the show for exploring the scope of Pennywise's shapeshifting abilities. IT can actually take the form of an entire family.

I sincerely hope the two boys, beyond all logic, actually survive. That was essentially the hook of the series, and they just fucking destroyed it. I don't know if that's good. It's shocking, yeah. Made the Pilot memorable. But I dunno, seems like the wrong move.

So this series is based on the Interludes from the book. I fucking HATED that book with a passion, but the only things I like were the chapter The Death Of Patrick Hockstetter (exploring a sociopath before anyone knew what that was), the Apocalyptic Rock-Fight (practically the only point of the book where the prose was actually well-written), and the Interludes. This one is clearly going to be based on the Black Spot one.

It's a conundrum that this franchise has been set 30 years after the book (in present day rather than the 1980's). The entire plot of the Black Spot is to do with the systemic and ugly racism of the 1920's. But maybe doing it in 1962 can explore that from a different angle. Racism is still a huge problem, the Civil Rights movement hasn't really gotten started yet, and maybe the actual problem is the hatred of the Black Spot will be founded upon not just evil, open racism. But the same kind of mindset that makes Derry the town when people hear a girl screaming in terror in broad daylight in the middle of the street, and they close their doors and draw the curtain. Maybe a LOT of the racism that is going to explored will be passive and permissive of the hostile stuff people in this ugly fucking town are too cowardly and ill-intentioned to actually stop. Maybe the moral of the kind and tolerant General played by James Remar is that when push comes to shove, he's gonna fail Hanlon Sr. himself, as will his white army buddy. Talk about a horrific scenario.

The Black Spot in the book showed that the people of color in that town were on their own. Maybe the thin veneer of acceptance seen here is the actual danger.

But I'm speculating WAY too far ahead about this shit. It's the first fucking episode, they slaughtered the new (old?) Losers Club, and Pennywise hasn't even properly appeared yet. I hated the book, liked the miniseries, and thought the movies were good and bad at the same time. But this? I'm already hooked. This is gonna be a good (and mean) season. 5 stars.

Smurfs (2025)

Matt Zimmer — Sat, 25 Oct 2025 01:41:51 +0000

Smurfs (2025)

Just for some context, I LOVED Smurfs: The Lost Village. It was not only like a Pixar story-based adventure, but it rehabilitated Brainy Smurf and made him the protagonist instead of the loser joke. This film is less like a Pixar fantasy and more like a loud DreamWorks gimmick movie. It’s kind of dumb and stupid and closer to The Garfield Movie than The Lost Village. Not great.

The live-action elements were interesting but I didn’t understand the rules of them. One rule I could follow is that if the human was live-action, we aren’t allowed to see their face. That seemed fair to me.

This is the precise franchise that lends itself to a dance party ending (even The Lost Village was not immune to that horseshit) but the thing that troubles me is that it freaking started OFF with one. That was sort of a red flag and told me I wouldn’t love the movie.

When is this even set? It appears modern day but I don’t get how and why the medieval elements like castles are still present.

It’s interesting to make Gargamel the “Little Bad” and have him reluctantly team up with the Smurfs because his brother is so evil. I’m not sure it’s the right move, but it’s new.

I am amused Alex Winter of all people voices Hefty Smurf.

But really, I am not a fan of this. I would have preferred a Lost Village sequel. 2 1/2 stars.