The script to this film was incredibly weak. It was by the numbers, joyless, and it didn't just telegraph what was going to happen in the story, but the cliched dialogue too. Everything felt very paint by numbers and rote. The studio had a contractual commitment to make a Spider-Man Universe movie, and all they bothered to do was go through the motions. There is nothing good or special about the script.

The acting in the movie is poor, the direction uninspired, the visual effects shoddy, and the music boring. And yet, if this had a better script, I would forgive every single one of those flaws. Good scripts help movies and TV shows SO much. And this is one or the poorer scripts I've seen for a recent superhero film. Superhero films with scripts this cliche and monotonous were very common in the 1990's and the aughts. But this is the worst recent superhero film I've seen.

I freaking liked Madame Web! I tolerated Morbius! I am not impossible to please here. As a matter of fact, I don't give a shit about comic book faithfulness, which automatically makes me more receptive when a movie like this just does their own thing. But are the changes for the better? I thought Paul Giamatti's Rhino was bad in The Amazing Spider-Man 2. This guy here is worse. Why give Kraven such an Americanized accent when the Russian thing is probably the biggest part of his larger-than-life personality in the comics and cartoons? I have a complaint about the Foreigner too (although this is a character I have admittedly never heard of). He's the toughest character in the film. He has Kraven dead-to-rights. And Calypso takes him out? Do I have that right? I admit I am not a superhero film expert, but I'm like "You don't do that with the toughest villain and the hero". And antifeminism doesn't have anything to do with it (at least not on my end. I'm sure toxic fanboys will talk your ear off about this). But it's wrong for the narrative.

Finally, I don't much see why this exact story needed the bone-crunching R-rating. Honestly, I think it's because the film had nothing else going on, and they thought the edgy vibe might create unearned buzz. Which might be a good tactic if the film were actually good, and got good word of mouth to back it up. Since nobody seems to like it, they've just turned off everyone under 17 who might have been willing to shut their brains off and watch this crap. The R-rating for superhero films only works if they happen to be good. If they suck, they drive away what little not-picky audience they have left. THAT'S why the film bombed. Plenty of PG-13 movies as bad at this earn their money back. This one didn't because anyone young enough to not be too demanding of their entertainment wasn't allowed in the theater. Dumb.

That was a shitty film. I don't care if it was a shitty Marvel film, or even a shitty superhero comic book film. It's shittiness as a film is first and foremost in my mind and the actual problem. I'll tolerate shitty Marvel and superhero films if the things they change are for the better, or if they are at least INTERESTING. Deliver to me an entirely shitty movie instead? You get Kraven The Hunter. 1 star.

Outtakes & Bloopers

Blooper from bad films hit differently than ones from good films. Yes, the cast seems to be having a good time here. But it's notable, the only time they appear to be enjoying their time on the set or getting into their roles is while they are fucking up. They didn't show this much joy and passion in the film itself. Blooper reels on good films show that the entire production was a joy. I'm wondering why the only joy to be found in this film is once the official cut stops rolling. 3 1/2 stars.

Deleted Scenes

Most of these scenes aren't any worse than the rest of the movie, but none of them would have made it any better either. Overall: 1 1/2 stars.

Solitary Confinement

I think Sony was getting VERY nervous about this movie. I imagine test screenings went poorly and there was little they could do to salvage things. In a last minute desperation movie, Sony posted the first 8 minutes of the film online to "build hype". Fans were unimpressed and (rightly, I think) believed that showed a sign of weakness on the end of the producers.

And this scene was cut because those 8 minutes could not afford it included. The movie was already in deep shit. If they hadn't decided to post the beginning online I doubt they would have cut this. They would have needed to. 2 1/2 stars.

Dmitri's Birthday

I feel this was an awful scene. Even for this movie, which is saying something. No wonder they cut it. 1 star.

Sleep Interrupted

He's probably confused for a homeless guy, because he's not wearing shoes. That drove me nuts during the action sequences by the way. He's running through exploding pavement and my entire fucking day is ruined if I step on a Lego. I don't care that he's a superhero. That should be a universal thing. Like pants. 4 stars.

Homecoming

Dull, even for this film. 1 1/2 stars.

Kraven's Dead

Yeah, you don't fuck around with dog scenes. A wise cut. 1 1/2 stars.