Spidey And His Amazing Friends - Non-MCU Marvel

RE: Spidey And His Amazing Friends

Matt Zimmer — Sun, 24 Sep 2023 00:40:34 +0000

Spidey And His Amazing Friends "Final Review" (No Spoilers)

I was going to discuss this in the next episode, but I don't have it in me to watch another one. A lot of people ask me, "Matt, if you HATE something so much, why just watch it to complain about it?"

It's a fair question, or it would be if it were entirely true. But it misses the mark quite a bit, and it's not the case.

It is true there are some shows that I watch that I tend to bash every single week. No question. But I usually watch those shows because they are either adjacent to a thing I like, or a small part of a thing I like. I HATED Rescue Bots Academy. I thought it was the worst Transformers show I'd ever seen, and probably the worst preschool show in years, at least since Barney (and yes, it was routinely worse than this show). And yet it was part of the Aligned Continuity, and maybe you can call it a bit of gatekeeping, but that's my favorite Transformers Universe, and I ain't missin' a bit of it. Similarly, I have noted that Titans is the single worst superhero TV show that ever existed, and I still watched it from beginning to end for the ties with the Multiverse it shared with the Arrowverse and other related shows. Also why I stuck with The Flash until the end despite it spending its last six seasons awful week in and week out. If I watch something I hate, it's usually because it's connected to something I like.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't see this continuity popping up in the next Spider-Verse movie do you? It certainly wasn't in the last one, because its happy-go-lucky nature completely works against that movie's insistence all Spider-Mans must have tragedy in their lives. I feel comfortable ducking out now and not feeling like I'm missing anything.

Any final notes to offer about the series itself? Yes.

It is not just the worst animated Marvel superhero show of all time. It's the worst Marvel show period. It's the worst animated superhero show period (DC or Marvel). It's the worst animated show based on a comic book. The worst thing about the show to me is how badly written and stupid it is. Why? Because it doesn't need to be. I believe Disney cynically (and probably correctly, truth be told) noted that dumb preschool shows are more popular than clever ones. Bluey makes a liar out of this theory, but before it, and not counting Sesame Street (which frankly HAS been dumbed down a little over the years) it was mostly true. And the more popular this show is, the more toys it will sell. In other words, I don't believe this show is as stupid as it is because the writers are, and can't write decent scripts if they chose to. I believe the show is as bad and stupid as it is because Disney cynically believed it would make them more money. Basically, this show's poor quality is down to financial considerations.

And I can question both the morality and the intelligence of the writers of awful crap like Titans, Riverdale, and House Of The Dragon. But I think that crap is as bad as it is because the writers are either terrible writers or terrible people. This show is so awful because it wants to offend as few toddlers as possible, so they'll pester their parents to buy the toys. And really, why should I stick around if that's the case?

Let me be blunt. I mentioned people had a point about not watching shows just to complain about them. But I also said the idea misses the mark, and not just because the stuff I watch I watch for reasons of either connectivity, or if it's sometimes occasionally even, GOOD. The reason the gripe of "If you don't like it, don't watch it," doesn't work for me is because I believe writing critical reviews in an informed manner is a great help to my writing skills, which pays off in my comic book. I think me exploring why something doesn't work helps me understand how to write better and analyze works of fiction better.

The problem for me, is there often becomes a point where I am putting more into my negative reviews of the show, than anything I'm getting out of it. I stopped Riverdale for that reason and bailed on House Of The Dragon early on because of it too. I don't enjoy watching crap. I don't. Hard to believe, but true. If I can find reasons to avoid it, I will. The show seeming to be unconnected to everything else Marvel means I feel I can drop it with no regrets. It's probably finally seeing the latest Spider-Verse movie that drove that realization and decision, but I'm happy I will not have to watch this horrid show anymore, and I can use the time on things I DO enjoy. Writing bad reviews can sometimes be productive for me. But I'm spent over 45 minutes on this one so far. And the episodes are 22 minutes long. That's not good time management. I have better things to do than spending 22 minutes watching something terrible and taking twice as long to complain about it. In fairness, few of my reviews for this show get this in-depth. But the principle is still the same.

I will not miss this show or the fact that Disney coldly calculated the best way to sell more merch was to feed kids garbage every week. Believe it or not, Disney used to have high standards, especially regarding their animation. But with the exception of a few bright spots (Elena Of Avalor springs immediately to mind) Disney makes their preschool shows dumb, loud, and annoying. Obviously this makes them more financially successful, so who am I to argue? But them being this terrible means I don't have to watch them either. And I'm ducking out now. This show is the worst. Series Overall: 0 stars.

RE: Spidey And His Amazing Friends

Matt Zimmer — Fri, 15 Sep 2023 21:27:18 +0000

Spidey And His Amazing Friends "Go With The Lava Flow / An Un-bee-lievable Rosh Hashanah"

Go With The Lava Flow

I made the mistake of watching and reviewing this immediately after watching the Adam West Batwheels episode. Big mistake. If I seem a bit unforgiving, that's why.

Mea Culpa: I was about to give the show crap for Miles talking up these rare pink iguanas and then Team Spidey RANDOMLY being called on a rescue mission to the exact same damn island where the last 200 of them exist. But it's actually a trick by Peter and Gwen to fool Miles into seeing his favoritest thing ever he never mentioned before this week, and will forget all about during his next favoritest thing next week. So maybe the show should get credit for being less stupid than I predicted.

Except Miles himself should have noticed this suspicious coincidence himself, so partial credit at best, and no credit, if I'm actually being fair. Miles isn't supposed to be a stupid character and neither is Peter, and yet they are always portrayed as such.

Ugh. Why can't this be Batwheels? 1 star.

An Un-bee-lievable Rosh Hashanah

Gotta give the show credit: There are not many cartoons that get to a holiday before Charlie Brown ever did. Did they actually beat Teen Titans Go! there too, which celebrates alternate Tuesdays? I think they might have. Bonus points for pulling THAT off.

Cool exploring Ben Grimm's Jewishness.

You know, when a villain randomly calls him "The Thing" it sounds like a rude insult. I get it's his chosen superhero ID, but I guess hearing the "The" in front of it sounds weirdly dehumanizing in 2023. Damn the 1960's! This is all Stan Lee's fault, you know.

Not as terrible as the show usually is, although as always Gobby episodes are always a bit of a chore to get through. 2 stars.

Episode Overall: 1 1/2 stars.

RE: Spidey And His Amazing Friends

Matt Zimmer — Sat, 02 Sep 2023 23:51:03 +0000

Spidey And His Amazing Friends "Rollin' Rhino / The Octopus And The Kitty Cat"

Rollin' Rhino

Mea Culpa to my readers. I have been a bit of a gadfly regarding Marvel Animation. After the final season of the last Avengers cartoon aired (Black Panther's Quest) I boldly proclaimed it was the stupidest and worst-written Marvel cartoon ever. In fact, I said it was also the worst Marvel show, period, and worst animated superhero show, period, (DC has done some worse live-action stuff). I realize after seeing this episode my opinion that this show was second worst in that regard was me giving the show too much credit. It IS after all, the worst Marvel cartoon, the worst Marvel show, and the worst superhero cartoon ever. I never felt right taking that specific slam against Black Panther's Quest not only because it featured a diverse cast, but because the showrunner was an old online acquaintance of mine named Geoffrey Thorne whose posts on Dwayne McDuffie's forum were always super insightful and far more admirably extreme leftist than I could ever aspire to be. You put one of my most extreme leftwing rants up against his I sound closer to Dick Cheney than Thorne. And I love, admired, and respected the hell out of him for that. And it bummed me out a guy I liked and interacted with, a smart guy no less, was responsible for the worst written and stupidest Marvel cartoon ever. He finally hit the big time and it's the worst Marvel toon ever. What a bum deal.

After this episode I am pleased to say he no longer needs to carry that specific burden. I will certainly be glad I no longer have to say it. What this horrible episode also taught me is that perhaps this show had dethroned Black Panther's Quest ages ago and I was just unwilling to admit it. But damn, there's no room for debate there left in my mind. It is now the worst. You are off the hook, Geoffrey Thorne. Thank God. 0.

The Octopus And The Kitty Cat

Black Cat episode. Automatic zero stars. Nothing more needs to be said. 0

Episode Overall: 0.

Series Overall: Worst animated Marvel Show ever. Worst Marvel show, period. Worst animated superhero show, period.

RE: Spidey And His Amazing Friends

Matt Zimmer — Sun, 27 Aug 2023 10:32:44 +0000

Spidey And His Amazing Friends "Hide And Seek / Whale Of A Time"

Hide And Seek

A jolly green goofball Hulk who is never really angry is something I can accept. The concept of Hulk allows for a LOT of different versions and variations in personalities. But a version of The Thing WITHOUT a chip on his shoulder? Doesn't work at all, and I don't buy it for a second. 0.

Whale Of A Time

I've leveled this criticism at the show multiple times, but it bears repeating after seeing this: The show does not have to be as stupid and badly written as it is to function. It simply chooses to be. 0.

Episode Overall: 0.

RE: Spidey And His Amazing Friends

Matt Zimmer — Sun, 20 Aug 2023 00:53:45 +0000

Spidey And His Amazing Friends "Stolen WEB-Quarters / Spideys In Space!"

Stolen WEB-Quarters

New subtitle for the season means new heroes and villains in the main title.

Let me be blunt. They shouldn't be putting Armin Zola in a preschool show. I don't care that they gave him the same design as Nickelodeon's Face, he's an inappropriate character to adapt for little kids. This show shouldn't be showing Punisher, Red Skull, or the Purple Man either.

Whatever. It's not like the cartoon was any good, so maybe that entire rant is just me complaining about the wrong thing. 1 1/2 stars.

Spidey In Space

It's both cynical and obnoxious that the new premise and subtitle mostly exist to sell toy repaint variants. Remind me why little kids should watch this show again. 1 star.

Episode Overall: 1 star.

RE: Spidey And His Amazing Friends

Matt Zimmer — Sat, 12 Aug 2023 09:49:00 +0000

Spidey And His Amazing Friends "Dino-Rama / Daytime At Nighttime"

Dino-Rama

This is stupid.

Also this next bit might be an unpopular opinion, but I find Reptil to be a VERY creepy, off-putting character. Not just this version. The character in general is something I find hard to stomach. 0.

Daytime At Nighttime

Also stupid. I mentioned in last week's review that each of these cartoons will now get an automatic zero grade unless they somehow don't deserve one. Neither this cartoon of the last one moved me enough to change the base grade. 0.

Episode Overall: 0.

RE: Spidey And His Amazing Friends

Matt Zimmer — Fri, 07 Jul 2023 11:20:02 +0000

Spidey And His Amazing Friends "Catnap Caper / Bunny Bonanza"

I'm struggling with this one. Sigh. Here we go.

Catnap Caper:

Every Black Cat episode on this show gets an automatic zero from me at this point. As of the time I decided the rule I have never ONCE felt the need to break it for a single episode, much less revise it.

This episode was a bit of a turning point for me. I can talk about how awful and badly written it is that Spidey promises the kids to get their stuffed animals back despite having no idea what actually happened to them, or Black Cat being forgiven again for the billionth bogus apology she's given that she doesn't mean, but the automatic zero means I don't need to delve TOO deeply into this crap. 0.

Bunny Bonanza:

I have come to a shocking realization with this cartoon. Me hating the Black Cat episode was never in question. But I realized watching this that this was equally bad for entirely different reasons. It tells me that despite the fact that I talk nothing but crap about this show, that I have still been far too lenient with it. The series is even worse than I previously imagined and I'm not sitting here and taking that fact in good humor anymore. Spidey And His Amazing Friends is NOT as terrible a show as Avengers: Black Panther's Quest. But that is the only Marvel cartoon worse than it is. And I am aware of Marvel Animation's entire underwhelming history. I stand by that statement.

As such I an going back to the grading rules I established for Transformers Rescue Bots Academy. I usually grade shows on a curve and give the best episodes of a given franchise five stars, even if an episode of that identical quality of a better show would not earn it. For example a five star episode of Power Rangers would be worth two and a half stars if Andor had a script with a similar level of quality. But for Rescue Bots Academy I decided the curve is no longer valid for a show with no redeeming qualities. Therefore every single episode was graded a zero, unless it didn't actually deserve that grade. Few episodes of that show made it out of the zero zone. And I'm applying the same standard to this show from here on out. Not just every Black Cat episode, every episode PERIOD gets an automatic zero stars unless it deserves better. As far as the curve goes, for this show, the zero rating shall be the baseline from here on out. And for the second worst cartoon in Marvel history, that's probably a HELL of a lot more generous than it deserves. 0.

Episode Overall. 0. For real.

RE: Spidey And His Amazing Friends

Matt Zimmer — Fri, 09 Jun 2023 08:13:58 +0000

Spidey And His Amazing Friends "Super Scooter / The Lost Web Shooter"

Super Shooter

It's amazing to me a cartoon with that many toyetic heroes, villains, and vehicles can be that boring, but no show fails like this show.

The scene of Rhino's truck getting stuck in the alley is pretty much a master class of how NOT to write that scene. I am appalled by the conditions for writers in the animation industry in particular. And it angers me terribly scripts like this are accepted while genuinely good writers are struggling. It's not right. *.

The Lost Web Shooter

Also badly written. Worse, the little kid guest characters both look creepy and Uncanny Valley. Another terrible outing for a terrible show. *.

Episode Overall: *.

RE: Spidey And His Amazing Friends

Matt Zimmer — Fri, 12 May 2023 19:26:18 +0000

Spidey And His Amazing Friends "A Syrup Solution / Catch As Ant Can"

A Syrup Solution

Gwen says one of those giant heavy barrels will makes three servings of breakfast pancakes. Sorry, that math don't add up. If it took THAT much sap to make THAT little syrup, each Mrs. Butterworth's would cost around $200. Talk about a waste of resources. 1 star.

Catch As Ant Can:

"A missing ant? Sounds like a BIG problem." Um, NO Hank, the opposite. Not just a literal small problem, but it should be considered a trivial one as well.

I like that the cartoon had a bit of wish fulfillment at the end for the toddlers in the audience. What kid hasn't envisioned using superpowers to make cleaning up the room go quickly and easily? The chores are even FUN now. I like that this show had that moment. It's important to remember the actual selling points of superpowers to very small children. Hint: It's never about saving the world.

A little awful, but I dug the fun cleaning sequence at the end. 3 stars.

Episode Overall: 2 stars.

RE: Spidey And His Amazing Friends

Matt Zimmer — Sat, 29 Apr 2023 23:27:51 +0000

Marvel's Spidey And His Amazing Friends "The New Villain In Town / Spidey Cat"

The New Villain In Town

No, lie. I actually LIKE that the show had Doc Ock apologize to Cal at the end and call him a good robot. That's good to show little kids even bad people can do good things. Even if it's only for people they care about. And that DOES matter to me. 3 1/2 stars.

Spidey Cat

They are selling unlicensed Spidey masks in pet stores for cats? Peter Parker's lawyers suck.

I love Bootsie being given Spider-Powers. I also dug the gag of Gobby asking what he was laughing about. Almost nothing on the show makes me chuckle. That got a smile out of me at least.

My problem is Peter and Mile chasing Bootsie down with web shooters. She's THEIR freaking cat! They STILL don't know how to lure her? They never heard of "Here, kitty-kitty?" They think chasing and spooking a feline when they don't have the powers to back it up is the way to go here? Really?

I kind of liked some of the cartoon, but stuff like that is why I dislike the show in general. 3 stars.

Episode Overall: 3 1/2 stars.