Alien: Earth (FX / Hulu Series)

It had some interesting stuff going on but the ending was outright dumb. Kirsh and the other synths don't happen to notice Wendy entering the top-secret lab and loudly collapsing? I'm not even sure what narrative purpose them missing that would serve.

Whoever this Morrow cat is, he's a manipulative shit. He's using the fact that Slightly is a kid who wants friends against him. Okay, groomer.

I like Kirsh clarifying to him the ship isn't a location, but an object, one that landed in their backyard, so it's theirs. Doesn't sound like that argument has any MORAL weight, but it sounds legally viable.

Speaking of shits, Boy Kavalier isn't just the worst boss you could imagine working for. He's one of the last people who should EVER be handed power. But it's handed to this sociopath because that's how it works, and I guess people are so broken they've just accepted that. That moral feels very familiar for that reason.

It had some cool concepts but the ending was ass. 3 stars.

Wendy taming the Xenomorph is a big moment.

Nibs' behavior is alarming.

Morrow is a total bastard. Kirsh knows what's going on with Slightly. Why isn't he doing anything?

Speaking of total bastards, Boy Kavalier continues to prove he's a sociopath. Both him and Morrow are absolutely cruel in their manipulations.

The part where Joe says that Democracy didn't work and the corporations took over and fixed everything is why I really fucking hate people. They'll believe anything.

The conditions Eins made to Joe were cruel, but I'm a little surprised Joe didn't see them coming. I'm gonna go against the Noah Hawley grain there and say it's either bad writing or proof that people are totally fucking stupid. 50/50 on either.

Boy is right about something. It's kind of hard to feel bad about mistreating the Xenomorphs considering how fucking lethal they are to every single human they encounter. Let's keep some perspective here, PETA.

Solid. 4 stars.

Smart to do an episode-long flashback about what happened to Morrow's crew. They can essentially do an hour-long Alien film by doing that. Which is refreshing because they can't normally do that on a weekly basis with the fixed cast.

What do I think? I'm appalled. Our first glimpse at Mother and I was a little shocked at what a shoddy operation it was. Boy Kavalier is also reckless with Prodigy, but the difference is he hired specialists who are geniuses and the best in their field. With the exception of Morrow himself, every other person on that ship is either corrupt, or more likely, completely incompetent. The ship literally has a scientist so dumb he doesn't know that when he signed up for a biological survey it's not to do with the study of rocks. Or how about the lady idiot scientist who leaves her open drinking water container out while she's sloppily and carelessly studying a group of creatures that spawn in human beings like a virus?

I also now understand WHY Morrow let the Captain die in the Pilot. Truly, his survival depended on not HAVING to depend on somebody that weak and foolish. I blame Morrow for plenty (he's a monster) but I no longer blame him for that specific thing. I totally get it now.

During the Ripley era, none of the crew members were geniuses, but they all were competent at their jobs at least. This episode changed the franchise from "scary horror" to "catharsis horror" pretty quickly and unambiguously. I wasn't rooting for the Xenomorph, but I also didn't feel bad for a single person who was killed either.

Is this the future's best and brightest? There's an appalling real-world moral there, I know it. 3 1/2 stars.

Tootles' death was horrific. Hated every second of it.

The way Eins fired Arthur was beyond cruel. The fact that Dame didn't stick up for him says that Marci is right. She IS the problem.

Can't figure out Kirsch's game.

Boy Kavalier remains one of the most contemptible characters in the franchise's history.

Feeling for Slightly. Morrow is also a bastard.

I loved Morrow's threatening conversation with Kirsch. Frankly, I think Kirsch is probably the better bot.

Kind of gross, to be honest. 3 1/2 stars.

Things are getting up and fucked. In reverse order.

For the record, no matter WHAT Wendy thinks, John taking out Nibs was freaking PRUDENT. She was out of control. Also Wendy believing the Xenomorph will protect them all means Wendy isn't exactly a "safety girl" either. She hasn't COMPLETELY lost her damn mind yet, but she's getting there.

I keep underestimating what a sick psychopath Boy Kavalier is, and his reactions to Toodles tell me I can never be disgusted enough with him.

I can't figure out which side Kirsch is actually on. That being said, I'm betting whichever side it is is actually the correct one.

People have been fancasting Timothy Olyphant as Magneto because of the hair. Yeah, man, I can not only see it. I don't think they could possibly do better.

One of the selling points of the show is that Slightly and Smee act like actual kids when faced with bloodsplattering violence. Their adult actors are very convincing about that.

Arthur's final moments prove once and for all why he was too good for Dame.

That was messed up. 4 stars.

I am not sure this is a positive outcome.

It says that the show is subversive that the dire cliffhanger ending involves the heroes unambiguously winning. Who have we been rooting for and what have we done?

Ein being a synth is great as is the notion he was Boy's beard after he killed his father. There were several points Boy's loathsomeness and idiocy should have gotten him killed, but he's the most hateable bad guy the franchise has ever had. I can see why they didn't want to kill him off just yet.

Speaking of which, surprisingly low body count this episode. The remaining series regulars made it out of the finale alive.

It's both sad Arthur is the new eyeball alien host and a bit of a relief too.

And synths, man. That white blood STILL squicks me out. I have NEVER gotten used to it and I never will.

Are we happy? The "good guys" are on top and we learned the Aliens aren't inherently monsters compared to the corporations. But I think the far likelier scenario is that there are simply no good guys left on Earth. Where is Ripley when we really need her?

I dug it. I hated the premiere and loved the finale. 5 stars.