IT: Welcome To Derry (HBO Max)

I am curious on every level what Stephen King thinks of this show.

King has a tendency to admire movie adaptations that he thinks are better than his books. But this isn’t just better than IT. IT was a shitty book and I’m betting deep down King knows it. What I would find problematic if I were him is that it’s better than MOST of his great books. Not all of them. But King had a great premise and turned it into a shitty book. This show takes that great premise and turns it into one of the best King-adjacent projects EVER. Writers have pride. If I were King I’d feel a bit resentful.

Ironically the IT movies, despite not having the shitty ending the book did (deliberately, I believe) were hit and miss otherwise. I might have expected an IT prequel series to be awesome if it came from this huge creative visionary who tends to have a magic touch with established franchises (say, Noah Hawley). Nope, it’s still from the same dude who directed The Flash movie.

Let me tell you the show’s genius. I don’t think it will be sustain past this specific season, but it’s genius because the horror genre’s biggest fault is the victims doing stupid shit. You’re screaming at the screen or the TV for the dumb idiot to run outside instead of upstairs. Show some fucking common sense!

This show does an appalling thing that it can do, just because folks are familiar with what a cesspool Derry is not just from IT, but from King’s later works like Gwendy’s Final Task and 11/22/63. And every time the black characters do a correct, morally righteous thing, the audience deep down wants them to hush up and move on.

Isn’t that the absolute worst instinct you can instill in a viewer? They say horror is inherently conservative genre, and I’m not 100% sure I agree with that. I think what many people confuse for conservatism might simply be down to crappy writing. In fact that seems likely to me.

But THIS?! That! That!

I LIKE the Hanlons. I know that the people of the town of Derry are just as evil deep-down as IT. So it galls me when Mrs. Hanlon breaks up a fight with some white boys beating on a kid my mind is screaming “Move on and mind your own damn business!”

Frankly, I am not even sure this is even a GOOD button to push. But it’s an uncomfortable one, and I think good horror needs to make people uncomfortable.

Speaking of Derry people being shitty, last week I mistook Marge for annoying, but harmless. Now I’m thinking this is the girl who in a crowd filled with people stands up and points at a cringing woman and shrieks “SHE’S A WITCH!” before they descend upon her. And I’m thinking Marge is not just the first person to yell that, she’s the person to put the idea in their heads in the first place.

And this IS Derry. The chances that she’ll remain a comical character in this specific town are about nil.

I mentioned if I were King I might resent this show. The idea that the U.S. Army is searching for Pennywise to weaponize IT in the Cold War is better than anything he possibly could have done with this premise, including Dandelo in The Dark Tower. King has about a half dozen books better than this show (so far). But lord, not many.

It blows my fucking mind. Do you know what kills me? In his youth, King as a nonfiction writer was a total snot. I couldn’t stand his Author’s forwards, and the book Danse Macabre is a fucking joke. The guy curses to be edgy instead of doing it to be realistic. He’s an elitist boogersnot who while supposedly standing for small-town America always portrays them as dumb hicks. But the thing I loathe most about Danse Macabre beside the shitty prose is that King takes this huge dump on how worthless television is.

I’m a TV guy. I know how shitty it is. Believe me. One of the harshest criticisms I can level at a project is saying “That was television.”

But… But… The truth is I’ve always seen the value there and King was such a pretentious piece of crap in his 20’s and 30’s he could never imagine the possibilities you COULD do with television under the right circumstances. It never occurs to him there could potentially be value there. If I were King, and I made those dumbass opinions I WOULD feel resentful for a TV show not just eating the lunch of the book I wrote it was based on. But for eating my lunch on most of my other stuff too.

I do have to keep in mind that as great as this has been so far it’s still television. And television rarely sticks the landing. King wasn’t actually wrong about much of it sucking. The thing is it sometimes (rarely and wonderfully) CAN stick the landing and we’re all better in rare cases it does.

Will Welcome To Derry be one of those TV shows (at least for season 1)? After these two near-perfect episodes I am rooting for that to be the case. 5 stars.

This show has scope. It suggests that IT wasn’t a secret at all. The U.S. Government knew about IT as did the local Native American tribe (who apparently have been against IT for the last three cycles). The fact that the kid in the teaser was Francis Shaw was a great twist as was making the girl Rose from Second-Hand Rose’s.

The elder Hanlon doesn’t think too much of Dick Halloran, and honestly, based on what he’s seen and knows, I don’t much blame him.

That main title is catchy, subversive, cute, and horrible all at once.

Not as good as the first two episodes, but the show doesn’t need to be to still impress me. 4 stars.

This is the story of The Black Spot so there was never going to be a happy ending, but that just says what’s going to go down will be a hundred times worse than the book.

The Native American mythology is SORT of impressive as an answer to ITS origins, but I fear it’s over-explaining shit. This show is NOT Under The Dome, but that specific adaptation fell apart because it did shit like that so frequently it boxed it in by the end of things. Don’t know how that fear could come to be in a prequel, but I take unpleasant note of it for that very reason.

What bit of mythology that worked was Will making the connection to predators enjoying eating prey filled with adrenaline. Forget cosmic or supernatural explanations. That’s the first one for IT that actually tries to explain the SCIENCE of IT.

I mentioned in an earlier review how subversive and maddening it is to be screaming at the Black folks on-screen to stop talking and mind their own business if they know what’s good for them, but this show is using our biases against horror movie stupidity against us. It’s both an utterly dirty trick and the perfect way to drive conflict in the narrative with the viewers themselves. It’s a dirty trick and a neat one at the same time.

Niebolt Street. If I’m mad at the show for explaining too much, at least they are trying to make shit fit the set canon. More than Under The Dome bothered doing.

For the first time ever Dick Halloran is portrayed as sinister. I don’t know if that’s the right move (I don’t think there is an adaption of “The Shining” in Chris Chalk’s future where he’d need to walk this spookiness back) but I 100% don’t trust him or believe his mission is righteous.

Shaw referring to IT as “The Weapon” is another red flag.

The Police Chief is a Bowers. Never noticed that before this episode, but it explains a lot and also says the heroes are screwed.

I am a little shocked Madge became a victim of IT tonight. She didn’t die, but IT targeting her surprised me because I always believed she would have worked better as an unknowing agent of IT like Henry Bowers and his friends were. Granted IT spawned some DAMN fine chaos with Lily leaning over her shrieking bloody form with a sharp object, but I think the frame-job was IT overthinking things. Whether Madge got cold feet on humiliating Lily or not, the truth is she almost certainly would have fucked her over at some point anyways. I felt this attack was a little too public for IT. It’s getting pretty bold in this cycle.

Funnily enough, although people have been framed for ITS crimes in later cycles (including Henry Bowers) that usually happened after the smoke cleared. IT seems to understand it is at great risk during this specific cycle and is taking extra steps to protect ITself in the moment there.

I’ve said it before but it bears repeating: This NOT just better than the book. It’s better than most of King’s best stuff. I have no idea if King would be pleased by that fact or pissed. Considering his famous disdain for television I would have to think the latter. 4 1/2 stars.

Legit terrifying.

Matty being Pennywise was not a huge surprise but you were kind of hoping you were wrong about that.

By the way, Pennywise could have successfully killed and eaten the kids if he had done it while they were all at the tower. It was him wanting to “slow cook” their fear which led to all of them escaping. Pennywise is sometimes too evil for his own good.

Halloran's lock box is from "Doctor Sleep". Cool reference.

Marge joining the kids is a pleasant surprise. I pegged her as a thorn instead and I'm glad I was wrong.

I love Russo affirming that he'll shoot his gym teacher.

Aha! Mrs. Kirsh is the white woman Drogan was seeing! Good reveal.

I'll say one thing for this show. It is a HELL of a lot more accessible than most of HBO's other "prestige" stuff. That's a good thing, I think. 4 stars.