Jurassic World: Chaos Theory: Season 3 (Netflix)

I was pretty sure the show was gonna get canceled, but not only is there a third season, it's already dropped on Netflix! I am SO outta the loop.

It was just okay. I feel like the character drama was a bit forced and stilted. Not to say unearned or not believable. But the actors' performance were kind of paint-by-numbers and not selling me on the pain the characters claim they are feeling.

Still, having ten episodes of this show that I thought was a goner, pop up on Netflix was a VERY nice surprise. The seasons of this show tend to start off weak and get better as they go along anyways. 2 1/2 stars.

Wow, that Italian Nona Diane Feinstein-looking troll was a REAL bad case of Uncanny Valley. Not only does this show not usually suffer from that. MOST CGI stuff doesn't anymore. But that's an ugly design.

Smoothie is cute though.

My biggest problem with the episode is everyone believing Ben is making up the girlfriend. Why are they doing that?

It's because it's television, and television REVELS in friends being pure miserable assholes to each other for no reason, but it makes no fucking sense. Is Ben dishonest and the type of dude to put them all in danger seeking out a person who doesn't exist? Or better question, is Ben so bad-looking and / or repulsive that no woman would ever find him attractive?

I mean Yaz puts up with Sammy for Christ's sake. Talk about every pot finding a lid. Jesus.

The characters are making up wild theories about why Ben is a liar and a secret loser rather than accept the likeliest scenario that Ben is actually happy and well-adjusted. And it's the fact that something that cruel and sick is played for minor laughs which is why television sucks and I hate the medium.

You are entitled to nicer and cooler heroes, viewers. Don't let TV insist you aren't. It's NOT too much to fucking ask.

Good jump scare in the car. Now maybe a good jump scare is not ordinarily something to deem praiseworthy, but you gotta remember, this isn't just a cartoon, it's a KIDDIE cartoon. The show being the only legit scary animated show I watch is interesting. Castlevania WISHES it could make me jump like that, as often as this show does.

But I'm tired of the joke being "Ben's a liar ter her, because he's a loser nobody could ever love. Now let's talk about how we're all family." Yeah, no. 2 stars.

Horrific ending. Innocent people don't usually die on this show and it made an impact.

I kind of hate Nona. But truthfully Kenji screaming "Smoothie!!!" into the air is unintentionally funny.

I like and was surprised at Santos sticking up for and protecting Brooklynn from the Handler.

I think Sammy is being really emo right now, but I'm with Darius in being unsure of how to proceed with Brooklynn. If her intentions are truly good and she's still their friend, she's had plenty of opportunities to mend fences, including that phone call. I want to say it's actually out of character and badly written plot stupidity, but there is a 1 in 10 chance Brooklynn distancing herself from everybody is a tactic to protect them.

Only 1 in 10 though. Most likely it's shit writing.

Chess game was good at the beginning. I mean, this crap is overdone in genre, but this was boarded well and not too talky. It worked.

Santos yelling when Brooklynn tried to take off the arm says there is a tracker in it.

I liked some of it but Nona is working my last nerve. 3 stars.

Okay, Nona's not all bad.

As emo and annoying as Sammy is, she's right that Yaz is treating her badly. She's refusing to even entertain her point of view. That being said, Sammy is doing the same thing to Yaz.

I think Darius has it right by the end that they ought to help Brooklynn. Whether she wants them or not, she's got them. Darius finally realizing they have her back even if she sucks feels like a turning point.

I loved Brooklynn slamming down the scary tattooed dude's knife with her prosthetic.

It's usually around this point the season starts getting really interesting. Not yet, but I'm on the lookout for it. 3 stars.

Ugh. Too much 'ship. Y'know, I wouldn't have even minded if it was GOOD 'ship. But it's overdone kiddie-show 'ship. Pass.

I'll say this about the 'ship. Sammy is emo. Sammy is annoying. When it comes to her own family Sammy is a hypocrite. But there is NO part of her that was remotely wrong about refusing to take blame for Brooklynn hanging up. And if Yaz were a better person, partner, or even friend she'd understand that.

First of all, Sammy was the one who MADE the phone call. It was actually a good idea. And Yaz's entire problem is she didn't understand the point of the phone call to begin with. Sammy made it pretty clear why she called, which makes Yaz twisting it all the more fucked up. But Yaz is acting like that phone call was their one opportunity to mend fences with Brooklynn, exchange information with her, and get a clearer sense of what she needed help with.

That's bullshit.

Sammy made the call for one reason. It was a test to see whether Brooklynn was still one of them. One last chance for Brooklynn to explain herself. Or else.

Brooklynn failed the test miserably on every level.

Did she know this was essentially her last chance with Sammy? Maybe not. But the fact that it never occurred to her that it might be says Sammy is right to want nothing to do with her.

Santos is psychologically punishing the Handler. Mostly because she knows the Handler has been betraying her and THIS is her payback. Not flying off the handle. Hurting the one thing she cares about to prove who is actually in charge. Brooklynn was scared throughout the interaction, but I hope this told her something about how the Broker works.

I will say this. I think the series wanted me to think Brooklynn crossed the line by forcing that guy's arm into the dinosaur pit. They wanted to show us the morally questionable things Brooklynn has to do now to survive in this world without Camp Fam.

This is one of the series' biggest and ghastliest narrative mistakes of all time.

Despite what current popular fiction (of which this plot is clearly trying to ape) thinks, heroes who do shit like this shouldn't be rooted for to find their moral compass and do better in the future.

They need to immediately stop being considered heroes by the audience.

This was not morally questionable. It's a kids show, so no blood is spilled, but it is still absolutely unforgivable. Which would be all right if that was the actual point. But the series is crazy if it thinks this is REMOTELY an example of Brooklynn "nearly" crossing the line, but not going through with it. It's not just crossing the line. It's pole-vaulting over it.

No, current fiction believes that making the "hero" a sadistic torturer is a dramatically interesting "character quirk". Just because everybody does this shit, doesn't make it okay. You can kiddie show-Nerf it all you want, but it doesn't change the fact that this was the moment the show irreparably lost me. No matter what happens next, it will never fully win me back. The only way to do it is to make Brooklyn a full-fledge villain Camp Fam has to take down. One who is punished for her sins. But there being absolutely no consequences to her violent and despicable actions here says the show is too absolutely chickenshit to do that. So there is no way they can win me back.

For all future reviews I shall be treating the witness as hostile. People HATE it when this happens (I got crucified online when I went there with the beloved X-Men '97) but yeah, for every future review, I am now a skeptic rather than a fan. Good news, I will be super easy to pleasantly surprise. The bad news? Each and every time that does NOT happen, I will not paper over a given episode's failings and simply say the episode was all right. As a skeptic, I shall now be inclined to talk shit about every fault.

Really, no show should EVER want to put me in that position. But this show just forced it on me, the way Brooklyn forced that dude's hand into the dinosaur cage. The difference between me and Brooklyn is there WILL be severe consequences for that. You have been warned. 1 star.

I'll say this. The guy they got to play Davi is quite good. He actually sounded quite scared and upset after Brooklynn trapped him in that cage.

How much does Santos know? I ask because although she acts like taking a hit out on Davi is a favor to Brooklynn, if she actually knows ANYTHING about Brooklynn's agenda, it's a great punishment instead.

Well, as a newly minted skeptic, I can't say the episode managed to pleasantly surprise me. But it didn't make a ton of noticeable mistakes either, which is not usual for shows on my current shitlist. 3 stars.

Credit where credit is due: The show did an impossible lift and somehow made a believable cat-and-mouse, and then bargaining / negotiation between Brooklynn and the Handler work WITHOUT breaking the rules and having the Handler speak. Not saying they'll never break that rule. But it would have made a LOT of sense to do it here and they took the hard way and somehow made it work.

The Handler ripping of Brooklynn's arm without killing her makes me doubly sure there is a tracker planted in it.

I'm the skeptic now, so lemme get out every bitch. The biggest one I need to sneer about is the fact that Kenji's "heartwarming" goodbye to Nona landed with a thud. You can't do heartwarming with a character who looks like a Margaret Thatcher wax museum sculpture that has been left out in the Sun for the day and is kinda melty. Uncanny Valley doesn't cover it. Other appropriate words include "fugly" and "appalling".

Oh, fuck, the Mutant locusts. You know, I put up with that shit in Dominion because I enjoyed seeing Sam Neill, Laura Dern, an Jeff Goldblum together again, and I literally gave no shits about how crappy the script was. This show? Does not have that specific capital. It's weird it's using the fucking lame-ass locusts as if it does.

It's around this point in previous seasons of this show, and before that Camp Cretaceous, the season would start to take off and be half-amazing. That stubbornly has still refused to happen this year. Still three episodes left, but I'm not optimistic. 3 stars.

That dino that looks like a cross between a bird and a monkey is creepy as fuck.

Very interesting nuance and character moments given to the Handler.

Do you know what pisses me off? There was no actual reason for Brooklynn to betray her at the end. She did it because the Handler is a bad guy and you are supposed to stomp bad guys. But she was a HELL of a useful temporary ally, that she instantly burned for exactly zero benefit to herself. Brooklynn is dumb and bad at this.

I'll accept Davi uses They / Them pronouns. What I don't accept is the gang sees a screaming person in a full beard running down the street at them and somehow knows to use the correct pronouns too. There is a show being Woke (which is good) and a show not bothering to use Wokeness in a realistic or credible fashion. As a matter of fact, confusion from strangers is a typical problem for nonbinary people, so they could have actually leaned into that to give Davi some additional nuance.

Also notice the Handler is referred to by they / them pronouns too. Not sure how I feel about the level of gender awareness they can supposedly get across to strangers while they are both mute and a sociopath. Wokeness? Good. Non-credible Wokeness? Bad.

There appears to be overlap between this and Dominion, which if you ask me, is just asking for trouble. On the one hand the idea sounds cool on paper. On the other there are so many ways they could botch it and I don't see an actual upside to the show's larger narrative in doing it. Big and potentially foolish risk.

Aggravating. This season's life story. 2 1/2 stars.

Yeah, tying this into Dominion was a full-on mistake. With a set canon, it boxes them entirely in about what they can and can't do with Santos. And since she's the main villain, that's bad.

Brooklynn whines at the Handler that she helped them. Yes, Brooklynn and then you betrayed them. For no good reason I might add. See what your stupidity there gets you?

Give Davi a stun prod and it turns out they're not entirely useless.

The show points out Ben used to eat grubs. I guess they want to make extra sure I don't ever forget I used to dislike the character.

Bumpy getting captured always seems to be this show's go-to regarding extra complications. It's old-hat at this point, and frankly narratively unwelcome.

Will I end this by declaring the season has finally turned itself around? Nope. Not even close. 2 1/2 stars.

Say what you will about the Handler, they really cared about the Atrociraptors.

Which is probably why the way they went out was so annoying. At least they broke the no speaking rule for the right moment.

Speaking of annoying, and ALSO speaking of unforgivable actions, the show is dumb for trying to make me believe a stupid thing. Brooklynn turning the laser on her friends is unforgivable. Even if it's a bluff and a stall for time. Even if the friends know it. It's not something a person should EVER do to their friends, and it's not something those abused friends should ever tolerate under the guise of "She needs to keep her cover." Frankly, I'm astounded Brooklynn wasn't arrested at the end. She was neck-deep in ALL of Santos' crimes, and really the only time she truly turned and worked against her was once French Intelligence showed up and it was already over. Brooklynn may think clapping her hands and saying "Gotcha!" would absolve her of her crimes when the authorities come, but the FIRST thing the underlings do when the boss is nabbed is play innocent, and like they were trying to bring them down the whole time. Why would French intelligence take her word for it? There is a TON of evidence she was guilty and complicit, and literally NONE that she was innocent (mostly because she stupidity refused to include other people in her plans). I hate shit like that.

This episode sucked and I'm thinking the show sucks now too. 1 1/2 stars.