Jurassic World: Rebirth

Positive impression. Couple of caveats. I am ridiculously easy to please, so take any kind words with a huge grain of salt. The second thing is even if that weren't true, I am notoriously easier on movies than I am TV shows. I've always been that way. Not just because TV is harder and I expect more from it. But for movies, I'm viewing the entire project at once. Any given mistake in a film is baked and locked in, and not something I have to dread fucking up a future plot point (and TV ALWAYS seeks out ways to do just that). So yeah, I'm usually mellower when it comes to movies.

I was gonna complain they'd killed off Duncan to save the white characters, but no, he's allowed to survive. Good messaging there.

This Xavier cat is somebody I was very much looking forward to being eaten by a dinosaur, but as the movie goes on you realize he's secretly useful and heroic and lovable. Do you know who else had an arc like that? An asshole boyfriend who the audience eventually grew to love? Steve on Stranger Things! There is worse company to keep than that.

I recently read an interview with Scarlett Johansson, speaking frankly about a lot of her earlier career roles. She was cast in a lot of roles simply because she attracted the male gaze. And part of me resented hearing that, because enjoying the actors' appearances is a part of movies, and it always has been. Politically correct or not, it's part of it. If it weren't David Lynch wouldn't have always cast the repulsive people he did for shock value. But seeing Johansson as Zora here makes me realize she's right. She's a great actress, has an amazing voice, charisma, comic timing, and yet all I seem to notice is how good she looks. Yeah, I can get her feeling resentful for that. There are very few actors where their innate beauty works against them on film. I feel like Johansson is one of them. I get why she's frustrated.

They did a version of the T-Rex in the river scene from the first novel. First of all, I think the novel is dreadful. At least in hindsight. But that was a memorable bit that 1993 budgets could not afford to put on screen. I do think the novel's version of the scene is stronger because there is a far more personal connection between the T-Rex and the kids it's stalking. Tim and Lex fucking HATE the T-Rex. Unfathomably. It's more resilient and smarter than it ought to be (it should have given up the chase about fifteen minutes into the river chase but just fucking refused to stop coming because it's such a bastard). There is an echo to that here though. In the beginning Bella declares that she HATES dinosaurs.

Isn't that interesting? In the world where dinosaurs are a part of it, and you only see them when they are destroying shit and killing people, you are raising an entire generation of kids who hate the animals. Every generation before that one LOVED dinosaurs. Bella speaks about them in the same tone she would for snakes and rats. And although snake and rats are pests, they aren't usually lethal ones.

But you know, I'm glad they're moving on from the World Of Dinosaurs thing. It was an interesting concept for awhile, but if you ask me, the implications are truly depressing, and if the next chapters are gonna pull back on that, I'm cool with it.

The "Stand By Me" moment was off-putting and weird. In a good way. I dug it.

So yeah, I liked the movie, and I probably liked Ms. Johansson more than I should have. Sorry, about that, Ms. Johansson. 4 stars.

Alternate Opening

I actually don't see much difference. 2 1/2 stars.

Deleted Scenes

Two brief scenes that SHOULD have been cut. Overall: 2 1/2 stars.

Raptors

I would have cut this too. It's an added complication resolved too easily, which makes the raptors' appearances total let-downs. For scary action movies, the better ones pick and choose things based on what works for the story or the scenario. If they had kept this, we'd be looking at kitchen sink storytelling. 2 stars.

Mutadon Attack

As I said, when it comes to action / horror film tension, less is usually more. A leaner run-time make the scares land harder. And this is just extra tension for no reason.

I will admit the pay phone ringing is a pretty good gag though. 2 1/2 stars.

Gag Reel

I feel like Gag Reels are currently included on Blu-Ray and digital releases solely because that is the expectation. Very few of them are funny, much less entertaining. Most probably don't ever need to be shared with the public at all. This describes this Gag Reel. Boring. 1 star.