Spidey And His Amazing Friends

Going Green:

Too Captain Planet for my tastes. 2 stars.

Coming Clean:

Honestly? Bad. It's a dumb plot because the dangers inherent in the blob are self-evident and why Spidey never should have invented it. And considering how insanely dangerous it is, Spidey and Spin really should not have been doing crazy experimental things to try and stop it. Blowing it up could have simply made things worse.

Whatever else you want to say this cartoon is teaching kids, it's not rational problem-solving. 1 star.

Episode Overall: 1 1/2 stars.

Web Beard's Treasure:

The name "Web Beard" is a little on the nose, don't you think?

Eh. 2 1/2 stars.

Washed Away:

I liked Gobby's "What a world!" when he falls into the water. There has always been a lot of Margaret Mitchell in this version's design and performance.

Cool. 3 stars.

Episode Overall: 3 stars.

Spin Rushes In:

Spin's Arachno-Stings don't hurt? That doesn't sound right.

Like every preschool cartoon, one of the protagonists shows a character flaw they've never demonstrated before, that the writers randomly gave them just for this episode, and it's one that they'll never have a problem with again. A big problem with preschool cartoons is the unyielding formula of them. Will toddlers complain? No. Will I? Yes. 2 stars.

Bridge Bandit:

The closing joke is why all preschool shows outside of Sesame Street suck.

The vehicles are quite toyetic, which bothers me more in a show designed for toddlers. They are far more impressionable than the 10-year-olds toy commercial cartoons were aimed at when I was a kid. 1 1/2 stars.

Episode Overall: 1 1/2 stars.

Art Attack!:

I hated that. I'll tell you why. Gobby destroying art is not toddler-cartoon naughty. I find it real-world horrible. And the show gets demerits because I don't think it actually understands that or how serious it is. They have him washing off the paintings at the end as if that's a suitable resolution. You destroy a painting like that, it's actually gone forever. It's bad enough the producers had Gobby do such a horrible crime. They don't seem to actually understand how horrible it is. And for a show teaching morality to toddlers, that's kind of messed up. 0.

Puppy Pandemonium:

No great shakes, but unlike the last cartoon, there was nothing that offended me either. 2 stars.

Episode Overall: 1 star.

Goblin Island:

Sort of a cool, supervillainy concept. 3 1/2 stars.

Doc Ock And The Shocktobots:

The Panther Patroller is very toyetic. Mommy! Mommy! I want that! 3 stars.

Episode Overall: 3 stars.

Peter's Pendant Predicament:

By having Peter position the crystal to deflect Gobby's laser beams the show is being dumb enough to suggest that Peter can move faster than the speed of light. Right. Derp.

I like Aunt May saying her Grandfather traveled to many exotic locations like Madagascar and Hoboken. It's funny because really, what toddler would know the difference? 3 stars.

TWIST-E:

It's like The Ransom Of Red Chief for Doc Ock (if Red Chief were a malfunctioning Spiderbot). 3 stars.

Episode Overall: 3 stars.

Itsy-Bitsy Spiders:

I found Doc Ock's microscope goggles creepy-looking. 3 stars.

Gobby's Rotten Pumpkin Hunt:

I TOLD you, Michael, there's ALWAYS pumpkins in the banana stand!

In hindsight, I'm starting to believe painting Easter Eggs as a kid was just a ruse by my parents. It was just mindless busywork to take my mind off constantly asking them for candy. It certainly wasn't in any way, shape, or form FUN.

I think adults making kids paint Easter Eggs are the grifters and the kids are the marks. Another reason I believe no parent can ever be trusted. 3 stars.

Episode Overall: 3 stars.

The Wozzlesnook:

Dumb. 2 stars.

Superhero Switcheroo:

I liked Hulk being all "Stuck / unstuck. Stuck / unstuck."

I am also very glad that Hulk is gentler with bunnies than Lennie from Of Mice And Men was. Of course this being a preschool show, perhaps that should go without saying.

Here's an irony. In a less vanilla kiddie incarnation, Hulk taking a deep breath and counting to three would actually work against the Hulk powers. Him being less mad centering him instead is quite unusual as far as Hulk portrayals go. Usually the madder Hulk gets, the stronger he gets.

Cute. 3 1/2 stars.

Episode Overall: 3 stars.

Aunt May's Mess:

Yeah, old phones were big and didn't do anything. But if the show REALLY wanted to take a shot at them they'd point out how frustrating the rotary dials were. I absolutely hated those things. 3 stars.

Foam Sweet Foam:

Not exactly a good cartoon but the foam itself was fun. 2 1/2 stars.

Episode Overall: 3 stars.

Freeze! It's Team Spidey:

Is it just me or is Rhino a real whiner? He should be called Whino. 1 1/2 stars.

A Sticky Situation:

The villains acting like bratty toddlers has already gotten super old. 1 1/2 stars.

Episode Overall: 1 1/2 stars.

Rhinoctopus:

A little bit boring. The gimmick didn't really interest me. Of course, I'm not a preschooler, but still. 2 stars.

A Pumpkin Problem:

That was a little bit sweet, but it too didn't hold my interest. 2 1/2 stars.

Episode Overall: 2 1/2 stars.

Catch And Release:

First cartoon Spidey himself doesn't appear. In fact, Gwen doesn't either. It's a solo Spin outing. 3 stars.

Construction Destruction:

The fact that Hulk and Ms. Marvel can't handle a squirrel isn't funny, it's pathetic.

The cartoon is a rare one in that it lacks a supervillain entirely.

Gwen has been absent for the entire episode.

Dumb. 1 1/2 stars.

Episode Overall: 2 stars.