Tales Of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2024 Paramount+ Series): Season 1

I think I'm going to have a hard time with this one.

Not saying it's bad. It will just take some getting used to.

I thought Mutant Mayhem was great. And yet the Turtle project THIS reminded me of was Rise Of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. In both sensibility, art style, and action sequences, it was SO like that very underrated and canceled show I'm wondering why they even bothered to cancel it. It's not like they decided to go in a different direction.

Is Splinter's vermin talk going to be a permanent thing because they can't afford Jackie Chan? Gotta say, that is an idiotic decision. It's a cartoon. You can essentially recast whoever you want.

I've always loved the character of Bishop. The 2003 series version in particular was awesome on every level. Considering I found him the most creative villain, and certainly the one with the most creative fighting style, this version leaves me utterly cold.

Sounds like Bebop and Rocksteady are already misbehaving. Figures.

I will give this show credit for something: The dialogue, like in the film, is very naturalistic. Okay, Rise had that too, but that was still technically shtick. The Turtles and April talk like actual awkward kids here, which is I think the thing that sets apart this iteration.

Mutant Mayhem was a very special and unique movie. And when they bring it to the small screen, instead of recapturing that magic, they just ape everything Rise did. Again, it's too early to declare the show bad. But it does make me wonder what the point of canceling Rise in the first place was. 2 1/2 stars.

Pigeon Pete was not on my Bingo card of Mutants the show should adapt. At least this version doesn't have those weird nipples.

Okay, if they're raiding the awful 2012 show for characters, they BETTER bring back Ice Cream Kitty, arguably the only good thing that show ever did.

Rod is obviously going to be a future Mutant (the eye thing is a dead giveaway) although I can't figure out which yet. Maybe Mutagen Man?

David Bowie, huh? Most kids cartoons don't reference actual celebrities and movies / TV shows. This show is different for that reason.

I liked it more than the first episode at any rate. 3 1/2 stars.

I'm on-board and like the show now.

This is the best version of Hun ever. I love that both he and the Purple Dragons are lovable and doofy.

Hun himself is Woke in chastising Raph for making fun of body types. I freaking LOVE that. Holy crap.

Asking the deal with the mask is a DAMN good question. The masks never made sense. Are we supposed to not be able to tell they're Turtles?

Kitsune is a pretty good villain, not because I'm as scared of her as the rest of the Purple Dragons seem to be, but because she's cunning enough to ask the right questions. She waits for Raph to finish his rhetorical threat, and sees he is unable to. Her selling Mutants for traffickers is also pretty fucking dark.

Angel is probably Casey Jones' sister. Interesting to set her up first.

I thought it was great. I freaking love Hun! 4 1/2 stars.

And that's the birth of Metalhead.

I love this version of Donnie. He's not just cute. He's relatable. I root for him unlike any other Donatello.

SO good. 4 1/2 stars.

This is Bishop In Name Only, which I don't like.

I don't feel her backstory remotely justifies her actions.

I think her interplay with Rod is DAMN good though. It's awkward as fuck, especially the point when he points out she ought to be making a big speech.

It's a good enough episode, but Bishop is a unique character and concept, and this show isn't doing them justice. 3 1/2 stars.

So this was like the origin story for Bishop being recruited to the Earth Defense Force. Still not crazy about it. Bishop seems dumber than she should be.

Love Metalhead's design. The X for one of the eyes makes me laugh.

I don't think much of making Pigeon Pete the Savior of the Arc. Just for the record.

It was still good. 4 stars.

So they gave Splinter a new voice. I don't know if it's supposed to be Raph's for affect or not, but they just should have hired a Jackie Chan soundalike.

I like how it looks like the main title is going to be changed up for each six episode arc.

Not thrilled with the East River Three. I mean, I know the show can't exactly use SHREDDER or anything, but no-name villains we've never heard of feels like a bad fit for the second arc.

Bebop and Rocksteady not being with the Mutanimals is telling.

Eh. 3 stars.

So the recap makes clear Splinter's Raph voice is Raph translating the vermin speak. Gotta say, just recasting Jackie Chan would be a HELL of a lot simpler.

I love Genghis Frog. I love his voice and how laconic he is. I also love that because Hun loves animals they are instantly sworn enemies when he tries to eat the cat.

And I LOVE that Hun loves animals.

Mikey's stuff with Lee was surprisingly fun. For one of the arc's Big Bads, Lee is incredibly likable. Whatever she's doing, I don't think she's evil.

The climax was the absolute tits. Classical music, slo-mo, the works. Chef's kiss.

I liked it a lot. 4 stars.

Best episode title ever.

LOT to psychologically unpack about this Splinter.

Goldfin is a pretty good villain after all. Love that he's a James Bond fan, and I loved when he tried to lure Splinter and April into the horror movie scenario. They should DEFINITELY check that out. He'll still be here when they get back.

Can't say the episode doesn't deliver what the title promises. 4 stars.

That was a legit intriguing ending.

An Akira reference? This kids show is not like other kids shows.

If my life flashed before my eyes, and it was Star Trek: Enterprise reruns, I'd be embracing death at that point. "Computer, end program." Puke.

I don't think Leatherhead's clarification was a slam on the sitcom "Friends" per se, but that show sucks, so I'll take it as one.

Danny Trejo, continuing to have the most interesting IMDB page of any actor living or dead.

I liked that it turned out the alligator was NOT Leatherhead. Good twist.

Nice! 3 1.2 stars.

Pigeon Pete was probably the most hated original character on 2012. Him being able to talk here, means he won't be for this show. It was a great and unexpected turn. And it's amazing how effortless it seems in hindsight. Really, it's a no-brainer.

That detective is purely insane. In the same episode as Pigeon Pete and Sally Mustang HE'S the nuts one.

Sick burn at the end there, Splinter. Nice! 4 stars.

This has the same sense of humor as Rise, but if it doesn't have dramatic stakes either, it at least seems to have life and death ones.

Leonardo IS Batman. Good moment.

Sorry, Wingnut. NOBODY is ever finishing One Piece. God, this is the nerdiest show ever.

Splinter being the Rat King? Not loving that idea. At all. Bernie would have made a better one.

The climax was tight as fuck and boarded to the hilt. Splinter's "Tsk, tsk" big save was almost legendary.

Seriously, though, the show either needs to get back Jackie Chan, or legit recast him next season.

The Mooks can't believe Goldfin ate the sushi. And if Goldfin believes BERNIE is living an enviable life, that's kind of pathetic.

Good finale to the arc all around. 4 stars.