The Batman (2022)

Wow. Where to begin?

I liked, bordering on loved, that movie. But I have to be honest, I LOVED the first half, and only liked the second. As I was watching the first hour and a half, I believed the film had the potential to be both the best Batman film ever, and the best DC live-action project of all time. It didn't turn out that way (sadly) but it had a strong opening.

I think the thing I responded so well to is that all of the bizarre things happening at the beginning of the film are allowed to just happen without explanation, and the viewer has to come to the context of them on their own. And that made it like David Lynch and an art film, and I dug it. But the movie is too damn long. They could have deleted an hour of it and gotten to its essentials. I could never have sat in a theater through this. It would have been torture, even before Covid.

The second thing I didn't like is the same reason I hate The Dark Knight Rises: The domestic terrorist themes and online conspiracy sites hit too close to reality to enjoy in fiction. In fairness to this film, unlike the last Nolan film, the mass shooting wasn't simply nihilism for the sake of it. People in the city rose to the occasion, which was nice. But the whole thing gave me the willies anyways.

How is Robert Pattinson? I'm looking through the cast list of the live-action Batmans, and it's probable he's the best one. Not because his performance was exactly great. It's just that I tended to have bones to pick with almost all the previous ones (beside Adam West) and I didn't with Pattinson. Both his Batman and Bruce are equally laconic. He doesn't say much when he enters a room. He just takes it all in. But the thing that gets my big stamp of approval is getting rid of the damn Batgrowl. People have raved about The Dark Knight. But the fact that Nolan and Christian Bale invented the Batgrowl means that iteration of the franchise makes Batman worse, because other movies (and even cartoons) started taking the lead from that there. Pattinson's Batman voice is a little deeper than his Bruce. But he's not putting on a cartoon voice like Bale (and then Affleck) did. I cannot tell you how much I missed a realistic-speaking Batman. If you want to be real, that means that both Val Kilmer and George Clooney are better Batmen than either Bale or Affleck. I'm not saying their movies were better. But their time in the suit definitely was.

Pattinson is also lean and gaunt, which (don't laugh) brings to mind a vampire, which is something I think more Batman interpretations would do well-off leaning into. I don't think Batman needs to be the hardbody so many portrayals have turned him into. If you ask me the homoerotic muscles layered on muscles, actually kind of work against the mystique of the character. That's where I stand on Batman's bulging pecs and abs.

And it's good there is no Batgrowl here because Pattison spends more time in the Batman suit than any previous actor from any previous movie. So that specific choice was appreciated.

I'll tell you what I liked about Riddler. When they did the big reveal I didn't recognize the actor. As far as I know, they cast an unknown. And now when I rewatch the movie I won't be saying "Hey! There's Jim Carrey!" This guy HIMSELF is actually the Riddler! Neat trick, right? I believe Hollywood should be a casting a LOT more lesser known actors in major roles than they are. This guy's a find too. His Ava Maria stuff was nuts. And his singsong "Bruuuce Waaaayne" was suitably creepy.

Gotham was interesting because until the end it was portrayed as a Bright Lights, Big City sort of place. There's an actual stand-in for Time Square in it. It is not the broken down pit the rest of live-action portrays it as, at least not until the end.

Best performance in the movie is John Turturro as Carmine Falcone. I'm not saying the guy deserves a Best Supporting Actor Oscar for it. But if I were in the Academy, I'd nominate him for it at least.

Joker at the ends sounds a bit young to me, but so was Cameron Monaghan, and even if Jerome on Gotham didn't turn out to be the actual Joker, I think he was probably second best in the role after Mark Hamill. I always struggle to say nice things about the dumpster fire that was Gotham, but Jerome Valeska was one of them. So a young take doesn't bother me too much.

Jeffrey Wright was a great live-action Gordon, but he's a better Batman voice on Batman: The Audio Adventures.

I was hoping I'd be able to declare this my favorite live-action DC movie ever, but it didn't quite get there by the end. But it's still a pretty impressive achievement. Even if it's too damn long. ****.